Are you too busy to be a good parent?

I am just too busy……… I hear that a lot. In fact the people who are often telling me this have no idea who they are talking to.  I work two jobs, have 4 kids, and serve at church. Eric attends University classes on Saturdays, serves in church, works, and takes care of the kids. Our kids do swimming lessons, soccer, and have school and church functions. We are always busy. Our normal week is packed, but we know when and how to say no.

With that in mind I realize that it is all too easy to become too busy. Hebrews 2: 1-2 Therefore we must give the more earnest heed to the things we have heard, lest we drift away.2 For if the word spoken through angels proved steadfast, and every transgression and disobedience received a just reward,  I refuse to drift away from what is important. Some things are worth giving everything up for. I think some of what our society lacks is passion. What are you passionate enough that you would give up everything for? Would you do it for your church? Is it religion?  How about Jesus? Luke 9:23-25  Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. ²⁴ For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will save it. ²⁵ For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and is himself destroyed or lost? It doesn’t say if you belong to this special church you will gain the world. It doesn’t say that if you turn around five times before the sun comes up on X day you will gain the world. It doesn’t give you a list of activities to keep you busy. The bible is clear you deny yourself and follow Jesus. Sometimes that means denying what you desire to do so that you can be doing something better.

Really it’s all about priorities. Ephesians 5:15  See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, The fool tries to do it all. They know they can’t accomplish it all, but they are determined to stuff  as much into the time they have as they can. Foolish parents are the norm today. Their kids do homework on the way to one practice or another every night. These kids never eat at home because there isn’t time. They have at least two activities going on every night of the week. Their parents need electronic calendars just to track their schedules and often still find their children double booked. The parents of these children don’t have time for board games, quiet evening walks, dinner around the table as a family, playing with friends, or even family devotions. It’s just impossible to fit it all in.  The good news is that you don’t have to. In fact when asked many of these kids would rather not. This rigorous do it all schedule is as stressful to the kiddos as it is to the parents and often is an attempt for parents to let their kids do all the things they wish they could have done.

To better illustrate why this is wrong I want to tell you about my life. When I was little I wanted nothing more than to be a ballerina. If you know me then you know that would never have happened. I can’t dance, but I did want to do dance. I loved music and dance. My mother was the product of an upbringing where she danced and danced. She wanted me to not have the pressures of that. So I never did it. As a young adult I swore I would put my daughter in dance. My daughter loves music and she would most definitely be good at it. However, my daughter hates performing in front of people. This year is the first year she hasn’t cried through her school’s holiday program. It makes her frantic to be in front of all those people. I know that I would enjoy seeing her dance, but she wouldn’t love it. So the question becomes who would she be doing it for? What would the purpose be? And the big question, is it really a good use of both our time?

Deuteronomy 6: 6-7 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. ⁷ Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. It seems pretty clear to me that I am to teach my children daily through my interactions with them. This scripture verse makes it clear that we are to make time for meaningful conversations and reflections with our children. I can’t just be the chauffeur and cheerleader at the many events they are involved in. I think it is apparent that as a parent we need to set aside time for these interactions. There’s a big debate about quantity vs. quality and many misconceptions that go with that. I recently heard a speaker talk about new research that says if you have the quantity the quality will follow. Some of the best memories I have growing up were not big planned events. If my parents had been totally into providing quality over quantity I might have missed the lessons learned in the little special moments along the way.

 Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. My goal as a parent is succinctly summarized in proverbs 22:6. I don’t want my children to depart from the path I set them on. If I show them the right path I can sit back and watch them grow and learn, but most of all I want to marvel at the amazing things they  do along that path.  I don’t want them to miss the point of life because they are too busy………………..

Take a minute and write down the three most important priorities in your life today.

1.

2.

3.

What is keeping you from accomplishing those things? Are you too busy being busy?

 

American Dream Casting Crowns

All work no play may have made Jack a dull boy
But all work no God has left Jack with a lost soul
But he's moving on full steam
He's chasing the American dream
And he's gonna give his family the finer things

Not this time son I've no time to waste
Maybe tomorrow we'll have time to play
And then he slips into his new BMW
And drives farther and farther and farther away

So He works all day and tries to sleep at night
He says things will get better;
Better in time

And he works and he builds with his own two hands
And he pours all he has in a castle made with sand
But the wind and the rain are comin' crashing in
Time will tell just how long his kingdom stands
His kingdom stands

His American Dream is beginning to seem
More and more like a nightmare
With every passing day
"Daddy, can you come to my game?"
"Oh Baby, please don't work late."
Another wasted weekend
And they are slipping away

'Cause he works all day and lies awake at night
He tells them things will get better
It'll just take a little more time

He used to say, "Whoever dies with the most toys wins"
But if he loses his soul, what has he gained in the end
I'll take a shack on the rock
Over a castle in the sand
Now he works all day and cries alone at night
It's not getting any better
Looks like he's running out of time
'Cause he worked and he built with his own two hands
And he poured all he had in a castle made with sand
But the wind and the rain are coming crashing in
Time will tell just how long his kingdom stands
His kingdom stands

All they really wanted was You
All they really wanted was You
All they really wanted was You

What’s in your heart and can God use it?

If you are the prettiest, smartest, well educated, and most prepared person out there I have some good news for you; God can probably still use you. However, if you are broken, sinful, unprepared, and flawed God will probably choose to use you. Don’t be surprised that he chose you instead of someone else. This is a mistake that so many of us make. It keeps us from doing big things. We think that those around us are better qualified. They’re less flawed, more prepared, or just better Christians. God knows your heart and that’s what he’s looking at. He doesn’t see your appearance, or look at how well you’ve prepared. He just looks at your heart.

If you think he can’t use you look at some of the people he’s used:

Moses stuttered. David's armor didn't fit. John Mark was rejected by Paul. Timothy had ulcers. Hosea married a prostitute. Rahad was a prostitute.
Amos' only training was in the school of fig-tree pruning. Jacob was a liar. David had an affair.

Solomon was too rich. Job went bankrupt.

Abraham was too old. David, Jeremiah, and Timothy were too young.

Peter was afraid of death. Lazarus was dead.

John was self-righteous. Naomi was a widow.

Paul was a murderer. So was Moses.

Jonah ran from God. Miriam was a gossip. Gideon and Thomas both doubted.

Jeremiah was depressed and suicidal. Elijah was burnt out. John the Baptist was an introvert who ate bugs. Martha was a worry-wart. Mary was lazy.

Samson had long hair. Noah got drunk.

Did I mention that Moses had a short fuse? So did Peter, Paul -- well, lots of folks did. But God doesn't require perfection. In fact we don’t find too many perfect people serving him. Only 1 in the history of the bible and in return he was hung on a cross to die for all.

Really think about it, how unlikely is Jesus? His mother’s faithfulness was questioned; some thought her an adulterous. His parents were young. He was born in a barn. His family fled from the law. They lived in exile for years. He had no college education, but was a trained carpenter. Yet this man led 12 disciples across the country changing lives. He was so influential that the heads of church and state put him to death.

So what is it that makes ordinary people extraordinary? It’s their heart. It’s a passion that God has laid on their heart. An awe inspiring need to serve him no matter the cost transforms these ordinary people into heroes. I can give you some modern day examples of this:

Mother Teresa was born in Yugoslovia. She was one of 5 children. Two of her siblings did not live to adulthood. She was from a well-off family and grew up in a comfortable home. Her father died when she was a teenager, and at 18 she decided to become a nun and missionary. The rest you know………

Youcef Nadarkhani is a father of two, a pastor, and imprisoned Christian who may die for his beliefs. Youcef was born in Iran. He is an Evangelical pastor who spoke out on forced religious education in Iranian schools. I’m sure he was concerned as any parent would be about what his children were being taught. He has been imprisoned and is sentenced to die. His crime being a Christian, and the government has told him that if he renounces Christianity they will free him.

Gianna Jessen whose life inspired the movie October baby has Cerebral Palsy. Her mother was 17 years old when she was born as a result of a saline abortion performed at 7 ½ months of gestation. Instead of dying she lived. Gianna fought for life in a local hospital for 3 months. She has not had an easy life, but she says she is happy to be alive and thanks God that she is here. She does not consider herself a by-product of conception, a clump of tissue, or any other of the titles given to a child in the womb. Gianna considers herself a person with a right to be alive, and she thanks God that she has had the chance to share her life with others.

There are more modern day religious heroes than you or I know. Matthew 25:40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ Modern day Christian heroes serve others out of love. They have a burden for God and they cannot just stand still. Modern day Christian heroes do Weird stuff. They don’t value the things society tells them are important, but the things God tells them matter. They know that God will use them and they have enough faith to pursue his purpose even in the face of disappointment and uncertainty. I believe the difference between a Christian hero and you or I is a small thing. You see the devil will place obstacles in your way. The devil doesn’t want you or I to serve God’s purpose and his mission is to distract and divert us from it. These Christian heroes see those obstacles and choose to overcome. These are people who no matter how many times the world knocks them down they get up again. They praise God in the storms and worship his purpose even in their pain. These are the people we need to raise up as examples for our children, and not some sports or movie star.

But most of all this is what we should aspire to be…………………………………

John 15:13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.

Grappling with why….

Why didn’t God answer my prayers? Why hasn’t God healed someone I love? Why do bad things happen to good people? Why is life so hard?

^{Mark 11: 24} Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. ²⁵ And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.

When you are praying God may not be answering your prayers because of what is in your heart. The bible clearly says we must first forgive others so that our father in heaven will forgive us. I can think of many times I have wanted something from God and not received it at a point in my life where I was filled with bitterness toward someone else. Can you? The bible tells us that we are to forgive others as we wish to be forgiven. Well, that my friends is easier said than done…… But what if when we choose, because it is always a choice, not to forgive we are also choosing not to have our prayers answered? Is it worth it to hold onto your bitterness?

James 4:3 When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

This verse from James is one I have read and shared before. It really resonates with me, especially when God doesn’t answer my prayers. How many people do you think prayed to win the Mega-Million lottery a few weeks back? How many of those people were Christians? I am sure quite a few. It seemed like everyone bought a ticket. Didn’t you? The thing is God wants the glory. He wants to meet your need where you are. It’s not about money with God or pleasures. God wants you and your heart. God sees what the end result would be. It’s not that he doesn’t love you in fact it’s more that he does love you. Think of it this way. Your kids have a whole basket of Easter candy. The candy is good, but they want to eat it all. A little candy is great, but a lot will make them sick. You as an adult know this. It’s not that you love them any less when you say no more candy today. In fact you say no out of love. God loves you more than that and he too says no out of love. Just because you didn’t win the mega million doesn’t mean you are less loved. He knows that having too much can make you sick so he said no. You may think you would do one thing with the money, but money can become a powerful idol and God knows what it would do to your life and mine. Proverbs 6:2 All a person’s ways seem pure to them,
but motives are weighed by the LORD.

Of course it might not be your motives that are the problem. It could be your faith. Do you really believe God will heal the person you are praying for? Do you believe God will change that sinner’s heart? After all these years do you still believe that your crazy drunk relative can find God? Mark 9:23 If you can’?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for one who believes.” If you don’t believe God will answer a prayer there is no point in praying it. Do not say well we’ve tried everything else all we can do now is pray. Start each day, end each day, and throughout each day PRAY. God can do all. That doesn’t mean he will, but if you truly believe he won’t he may decide to prove you right. It amazes me sometimes that those who don’t believe in God have such animosity toward those who do. C S Lewis wrote: “Atheists express their rage against God although in their view He does not exist.” Why would you hate something that doesn’t exist? Why is it that when God doesn’t do what you want him to you question his very existence? I think the answer is simple I can most definitely run a mile. I have run a mile in the past. I will run a mile in the future, but today I am not going to run a mile. Why not you ask? Well today is not a good day to run a mile. It is cold, it is rainy, and I have church tonight. Church is better than running a mile. So today instead of running a mile I will do something better. God can answer your prayer, has answered your prayers, and will answer your prayers; but this prayer he chooses not to because he has something better for you. Believe that he will and he can, and when he doesn’t you must still believe. James 1: 6-7 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. ⁷ That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.

It’s just not fair is it? Not fair that God can answer your prayers and won’t. Not fair that you a good person struggle with bad things. It’s not fair that babies die, that corrupt politicians exist, it’s not fair that some people have tons of food and others starve, and it’s not fair that I didn’t win the mega-million. ;) We’ve all heard the phrase life’s not fair. John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” You were not made for this world. Remember that when you are thinking of unfairness.

Just because something bad happens does not prove there is no God. Atheists will tell you that if there is a God then why is there evil? The thing is atheist, Christian, or agnostic we all grapple with the question of why bad things happen. I believe there are two reasons bad things happen.

1. Bad things happen so you can see the Glory of God

On September 11, 2001 there were thousands of good people going about their day. Many of these people were doing exactly what they did every day. No one saw it coming. America was forever changed in an instant. By the time the second plane hit we were reeling. So many why’s unanswered in that moment and on that day. Maybe you should take a look at what happened during and after 9/11:

“I had not prayed in years, especially the lifestyle I was living. And my prayer was very specific I said ‘Lord, I need to feel alive again. I feel that I have a heart that’s not beating. I don’t want to feel this way.’ I said, ‘God let me see with your eyes and let me feel with your heart what you’re feeling now.’ Suddenly I felt God’s hand touch me. Tears start coming down my eyes and to me that was impossibility. I felt good, like for the first time in my life God was actually with me.” Steve Negron

Then in the midst of America’s darkest hours and in the midst of the enormous devastation, John says he believes hope was revealed. Four steel girder crosses laid upright in the middle of Building 6. All the workers in the immediate area, both believers and non-believers, stopped what they were doing and bowed their heads and prayed. John Picarello

There is another amazing report that more than 100 members of a New York church who worked at the Twin Towers got a witness in their spirit to not go to work on the morning of 9/11.

“It was the most beautiful, clear day on the east coast ... I sent out an email to someone that goes to my church saying, ‘Something is happening to me this morning. I know there is a call of God on my life. I have just been chasing stuff in America, but I want to be used by God,’” John wrote. Moments later, he heard an incredible explosion as the first plane hit the North Tower. While the walls shook and jet fuel from the plane ignited a fire all around him and thousands of other employees, everyone began to run for the stairs. Then he heard another explosion, as the second plane crashed into the South Tower, where his pregnant wife worked. No calls could be made to his wife because cell phones were not functioning properly. When he finally reached the plaza, huddling together with 15-20 other people, all he could think was, “These people that are with you, where are they going without Jesus?” “I started crying out to Jesus, and I asked those 15-20 people to call upon the name of the Lord. The most incredible thing happened. Not one tried to argue with me or debate with me. But as I started calling upon the name of the Lord, they followed in unison and I could hear these people cry, ‘Jesus,’ with me for a few minutes.”

Twenty minutes later, everyone around him had been crushed or smashed by the rubble. He was the only survivor.“I said, ‘God, they just called upon your name, and how come did they not make it?’ And I felt God saying, ‘Sujo, they made their peace with me in their dying moments and they are resting with me in my presence.’”As rescue workers soon led him out of the debris, he could not help but ask God why he spared his own life. Believing that his wife was dead already, John soon received a call on his cell phone with his wife’s caller ID on it. Though he assumed that it was someone calling to tell him the news of his wife, he answered, only to hear the reassuring voice of Mary on the other line – she was running late for work that morning. After being reunited with the love of his life, John prayed that night, “God, I am done chasing things that have been on my heart. I have been chasing success, fame, financial security, but from now on I want to be chasing that which is in your heart.” From that day forth, John following his convictions, launched Sujo John Ministries, an international evangelistic ministry dedicated to spreading the Gospel message of grace, which he so vividly experienced himself.

September 11, 2011 is only one example of a tragedy that God used.John 9:3 “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him. In your pain and in your sorrow God is there. You may be like the blind man in the Gospel of John. Through no fault of his own was he blind, but the glory of God was revealed to many when he was blind no more. Sometimes bad things happen because a miracle is needed. 9-11 led to a religious revival. Many people who had never sought Jesus found him and were saved. God’s plan in many tragedies is to save someone or in the case of 9-11 thousands died so hundreds of thousands might struggle with the tragedy, seek God, and be saved.

2. Your definition of good people is flawed.

The other thing you must know is all men and all women have sinned. You and I are sinners. Our nature is deprived. The bible says: 1 John 1:8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. We can try to be good enough every single day for the rest of our lives, but the reality is that’s just not enough. Romans 3: 23-24 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, ²⁴ and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. All fall short. That means that I am as much a sinner as you are. God doesn’t distinguish between sins either. Sin is sin. The only way out of sin was a price that was very high. God sent a truly good person. One who was completely without sin, and he allowed a bad thing to happen to a good person. Only once in all of history has a bad thing happened to a truly good person. It happened when they hung his son, Jesus, on a cross to pay for the sins of every man. He died sinless so that you might be saved from your sins. 2Chronicles6: 36“When they sin against you—for there is no one who does not sin—and you become angry with them and give them over to the enemy, who takes them captive to a land far away or near; Remember, that there is no one who does not sin. No matter what they tell you. No matter how holy they seem. Everyone sins. We sin in our hearts and minds daily. The bible tells us our thoughts of anger are as bad as our actions.

So the next time something horrible happens, and you ask why did that happen to such a good person? Remember it happened to a sinner. It doesn’t mean that a tragedy is any less a tragedy. Horrible sad things happen every day. They are tragic. They will shake you, but God will do something amazing through them. He saves people in the midst of tragedies. Genesis 50:20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.

I believe that God is good. I believe that God will answer my prayers. But if he doesn’t I WILL STILL BELIEVE

Note: Craig Groeschel preached an amazing multi-part series called Why. This series has insight on other why questions that we ask and delves deeper into the ones that I highlighted here. I recommend taking the time and watching it online. It is free to anyone who wants to watch it. Here’s the link: WHY

Mac Powell

He was pierced for our transgressions
He was crushed for our sins
The punishment that brought us peace was upon Him
And by His wounds, by His wounds we are healed

He was pierced for our transgressions
He was crushed for our sins
The punishment that brought us peace was upon Him
And by His wounds, by His wounds we are healed

We are healed by Your sacrifice
And the life that You gave
We are healed for You paid the price
By Your grace we are saved
We are saved

He was pierced for our transgressions
And crushed for our sins
The punishment that brought us peace was upon Him
And by His wounds, by His wounds we are healed

We are healed by Your sacrifice
And the life that You gave
We are healed for You paid the price
By Your grace we are saved
We are saved

He was pierced for our transgressions
He was crushed for our sins
The punishment that brought us peace was upon Him
And by His wounds, by His wounds we are healed
And by His wounds, by His wounds

What can wash away my sin?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus

What can’t you trust God with?

^{Matthew 17:20} He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

^{Luke 17:6} He replied, “If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it will obey you.

It’s the question that really drives who you are. Maybe you aren’t even aware of it. The number one thing that drives a wedge between you and God is your fear. Fear is the motivator causing us to make bad choices. Fear will rob you of your peace today, tomorrow, and for eternity. The question is if you really truly are fully surrendered to Christ what do you have to fear?

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 1 John 4:18

God is perfect love. There’s no room for your fear. In fact he wants you to let it go. Often we cling most tightly to the things we are afraid to let him have. It is freeing to let go of your fears. It is also very enlightening to think about what you are afraid of to let go. What don’t you trust God with?

For me money is a hard thing to trust God with. I can give you a hundred reasons not to tithe, but I can give you a thousand more on why you should. God’s blessings are bigger than what you fear will happen. If you trust him in the little things; he will trust you with the big things.

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Deuteronomy 31:6

There is a funny story I have heard about tithing:

A family was leaving church one Sunday, the man says to his wife, “That wasn’t much of sermon that preacher gave.” The wife then adds, “Yea, and the choir sang off key.” Meanwhile, their small son has been listening to his parents’ conversation. Finally, he speaks up, “It seemed all right to me,” he says, “especially considering that it only cost us a dollar!”

When I think about tithing I am reminded of this verse: ^{Matthew 25:23} “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’ I want a share of the happiness of God. I have heard the prosperity preaching and honestly I don’t believe it, but I have seen what God does with that money. He builds churches. He finds the lost and saves them. He heals the sick and feeds the hungry. With my little contribution God does so much more than I can do. I am lucky and blessed that I get to be a part of it all. Imagine what would have happened had I given into my fear. No God, I won’t trust you with this!

Irrational dreams are a God thing. As we grow up we realize that having dreams that seem impossible may be illogical. There is a reason Jesus said: Mark 10:15 Assuredly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it.” You see as we grow we lose some of our imagination, a little bit of our faith, and gain fear. Most children have very few fears. They are quick to love and trust. They dream big, love big, and live life to the fullest.

Is your dream irrational enough? The faith of children is what God seeks. Do you have enough?

This week I urge you to make a list of all the things you are afraid will happen. Write it down on paper. Take that list and stick it inside your bible. Then I want you to read that list every day this week before you begin your daily reading. See what God shows you about your fears. I promise you that whatever he shows you will be so much better than what you imagine.

That's a God thing

For the last two weeks my church was truly blessed to have Steven Furtick the pastor of Elevation Church in Charlotte NC speak. If you have never heard of him then you don't know what you are missing. You can check out the messages Found Favor Part 1 and Found Favor Part 2 by clicking on them. He also wrote an amazing book called Sun Stand Still which I highly recommend reading.

Have you ever pondered what the greatest gift God has given you is? We're all blessed, but what one thing has been instrumental in so many biblical lives? It's all God's favor. Mary had it. Moses had it. Nehemiah found it. You can both find and lose God's favor. His favor is powerful and inspiring, but don't get it confused with favors from God. God's favor is not a favor. You can't achieve it you must receive it. The favor of God is so simple: the guarantee of His presence and the provision of His power to accomplish His special purpose through my life.

Favor's a pretty powerful thing. Who wouldn't want it right? God will give it to you if you are hungry for it, and once you receive it he can do more in your life than you would ever achieve on your own. So what are you waiting for?

The thing is God's favor doesn't always look like we expect. God's favor is not for our convenience or our purpose. God has a bigger plan and sees a much bigger picture than we can even imagine. Luke 1: 30-33 But the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found favor with God. ³¹ You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus. ³² He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, ³³ and he will reign over Jacob’s descendants forever; his kingdom will never end.” Imagine if the angel had told Mary the whole picture. By the way you will have a baby and people will question whether you are an adulterous. That baby will be born in a cave. You will raise him and love him only for him to go off and preach to the world. But in the end he will save that same world, by dying a sinner's death on the cross. You'll get to be there to see it, but nothing you can do will change this. That's God's favor. Do you think you are still ready for God's favor?

God doesn't give us his favor for ourselves. Favor ain't fair. God did not choose you based on your performance, but based on your purpose. He will always give you the favor you need for that season in your life. What you need is not always what you want. Favor means letting God control the big picture even though the here and now might just suck. Favor isn't just about God giving you something. Favor can make you uncomfortable. Favor can mean something in your life ending. Sometimes favor hurts, but if you can even for a second spend some time in God's word you will see that he has a big plan. In fact you could read the beginning and the end in less than 20 minutes to know how it all turns out. In the beginning God created man and woman. In the end God prevails. Pretty simple and easy. Everything in between is part of the battle being waged to get there.

Favor will take obedience, and require you to be stronger than you ever thought you were. It may mean you change the world, or it might be an impact that you are never aware of. The thing is God chose you. He's calling right now, and taking the first step is pretty simple. Open his word and meet him there.

Footnote: Honestly after hearing this message I felt drawn to worship my God. A God who loved me that much. I felt unworthy of his favor, but I want it. Even if it means a hard road; I'd rather walk with Christ on that path then an easy road that goes nowhere. There is a battle going on. It is waged every day, and we are called to be a part. To stand up for what is right, to speak for those without voices, to love the wretched, and forgive each other.

Casting Crowns Courageous
we were made to be courageous
we were made to lead the way
we could be the generation that finally breaks the chains

we were made to be courageous
we were made to be courageous

we were warriors on the front lines,
standing unafraid.
but now we're watchers on the side lines,
while our families slip away.
where are you men of courage?
you were made for so much more.
let the pounding of our hearts cry,
we will serve the Lord.

we were made to be courageous,
and were taking back the fight.
we were made to be courageous,
and it starts with us tonight.
the only way we'll ever stand,
is on our knees with lifted hands.
make us courageous,

Lord make us courageous.
this is our resolution, our answer to the call,
we will love our wives and children,
and refuse to let them fall.
we will reignite the passion,
that we buried deep inside.
may the watchers become warriors,
let the men of God arise.

Chorus

Background:
seek justice, love mercy, walk humbly with your God
seek justice, love mercy, walk humbly with your God

Lead singer:
In the war of the mind I will make my stand,
in the battle of the heart, in the battle of the hands.
in the war of the mind I will make my stand,
in the battle of the heart, in the battle of the hands

The why of my blogging

In response to some of my most recent blog responders, who knew so many people cared about what I think?

Why I write my blog:

1. This is entirely for me. It started out as my wanting to share photos, however facebook really does that for me now. At the time my life was so full of anger and frustration that I felt the need for an outlet and so I started thinking out loud. So for those of you who believe my blog is directed at you, sorry but I probably didn’t even know you were reading unless you are a follower. Even then I figure you are like me and only read 1 out of 100 blogs you follow. I’m honored that you read it, but I didn’t write it for you.

2. I write my blog because I am reflecting on something. Sometimes the idea I am stirring around is a difficult concept. Sometimes I am uplifted and want to share. Other times I am discouraged and need to put that on paper. If you get something out of reading it I think that’s great.

Who I am:

In telling you why I write my blog you should also know some background on who I am; because it may help you understand and not have to send me oddly cryptic messages about my blog.

I am a mother of 4 children living in the changing political climate of the United States. I was raised in a very rural area, but live in a larger city. I am a teacher, a Christian, and a wife.

I’m also a numbers gal! I love statistics and math. I am constantly reading research on everything. I find statistics about stuff from garbage to coffee consumption fascinating. I have a strong background in psychology so as I look at those numbers I often see the correlational trends and from time to time will blog about them. Now I could probably blog all day about numbers or correlation, but the one thing you need to know is that I don’t always believe the statistics. In fact I could go into a whole blog about how we get statistics and if they are valid. In all true statistics we have to take into account both the outliers and the method used to express the average: mean, median, mode, or range…………… If you aren’t bored by the numbers yet bear with me. To truly analyze stats you need to know the size of the sampling group, duration of a study, and what means they used for finding their stats. I read these studies and even sometimes double check the math. Like I said numbers geek here! When I find something,cool or uncool, depending on your opinion. I blog about it.

Now the final reason why my blog is mine and may be not for all readers is prior knowledge. Reading research tells us that the big predictor for reading success in comprehension is the amount of prior knowledge a student has on this issue. Additionally testing bias most often is due to test creator’s not sharing prior knowledge with those a test was intended for. I have not lived your life so I do not have your prior knowledge. What I relate to is based on my prior knowledge. You and I may not even fit into the same age, sex, religious, ethnic, or socioeconomic demographic. The more breadth between our demographic the more likely we will not share common views because our prior knowledge will prevent us from relating in the same manner.

The best way I can explain this one is: Drug addicts understand drug addiction in a way I could never understand it having not been a drug addict. As a counselor of someone with a drug addiction many of the issues that they coped with would be outside of what I relate to. Often the best counselors for those coping with these addictions come from a background where they lived it. Their prior knowledge helps them to help others.

I'm not directing what I say to anyone else. If you find my words a blessing that's wonderful. If you don't agree with them; that's find with me. Just want you to know nothing I wrote before this post today was written for anyone but me.

The War on Marriage!

Marriage is an issue I have weighed in on often. I strongly believe that Christians need to be better prepared for this covenant. I am often deeply saddened by the failure rate of marriage in this country. The thing is there is more to it than most of us even realize. There is a war being waged against marriage in our country. This war has extreme societal implications, and those waging the war on many sides are both misinformed and often oblivious to the real ramifications.

Marriage is simple and the family unit was first instituted in the garden. God created Adam and Eve. Genesis 2:18 The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”God saw that man was not meant to live alone. So he created the perfect mate for man. God created woman. Genesis 2:24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Thus began marriage. There is no other definition for marriage. It is simply something created by God that is in the very nature of man.

Marriage is the backbone of our society. It is God's design for family. In a Godly marriage children thrive, but research also shows that children in unhappy marriages are significantly more well adjusted than those same children from relatively happy homes with one parent, or divorced parents. This coupled with research on the decline in marriage rates across our country paints a bleak picture. Today in America 30% of all babies are born to single moms. In 1970 only 11% of women in their early 30's were unmarried, but today in America 33% of women in their early 30's are unmarried with no intention of marrying. It has also been noted that children of divorced or single parents are much more likely to never marry.

Why are these statistics important? "Many observers associate the dramatic increase in illegitimacy and divorce with the equally dramatic rise in pathology among the young. Specifically, since 1950, the suicide rate for young Americans has also climbed by about 300%; the homicide rate for Americans under 25 has done the same; drug use has dramatically increased, the arrest rate and the rate of violent criminal behavior among the young have also skyrocketed, especially since 1960."(PAUL C. VITZ) Now we all know that correlation and causation are not the same thing. However, psychologists have been studying correlations for centuries and this strong correlation comes up in study after study. So why isn't anyone talking about it? Paul C. Vitz goes on to say that single parent homes face financial obstacles. In fact research is now showing that divorce often leads to poverty. Lenore Weitzman (1985) has claimed that men have a 42% improvement in their post-divorce standard of living while women have a 73% decline. Additionally, there is research that shows abuse toward children is substantially greater in single parent families. Research shows that children in single parent homes suffer from greater emotional stress, do less well in school, and have higher suicide rates. In the 1960's only 6% of adolescents 12-16 ever received psychological help. By 1981, the year I was born, with divorce on the rise so was psychological support for teens, in fact it nearly doubled. Now I know what you are thinking. You probably jump to the conclusion that I did. Our society was changing so this trend was caused not by single parenting at all. That would seem to hold true if you didn't check the research on kids from homes with two married parents during that same period of time. That research showed a decline in children seeking psychological support.

"The great importance of the father in the development and education of his children — his sons and daughters — is one of the best-documented findings within the social sciences in the last twenty years. These studies give a clearer understanding of the pathologies found in children of divorce."
Just look at the research:
He helps the child to separate psychologically from the mother; teaches it to control impulses and to learn and respond to the laws, rules, and structures of the society; and serves as a buffer for the mother's attention and emotions (both affection and anger) that may be heavily focused on the child. Thus, the father offers the child another reference point and a haven, and helps the mother to avoid over-emotionalizing her relationship with her children. For young children, the father also commonly facilitates intellectual and cognitive development, along with behavioral control. (Duncan, Brooks-Gunn, and Klebanov, 1994).

So children who are raised in homes without fathers are at a significant higher risk for anti-social behaviors, mental health issues, difficulties in school, drug use, and even criminal behaviors. Now I know that there are many people out there who will disagree with me. I know that there are exceptions to statistics in fact there are even statistics on exceptions, but I will save that for another day. The thing is that overall the statistics are very very clear. Marriage is important to society, and as marriage declines societies suffer as whole from a decline. The research on crime alone is enough to make me shudder: In the U.S. 90% of the major and violent crimes are committed by unmarried men (Gilder, 1986, p. 65). And many studies show that a high proportion of the incarcerated offenders come from single-parent or other dysfunctional family backgrounds. (See Chapman, 1986; Beck and Kline, 1988.)


I know that this is a lot of research and if you made it this far you probably came to the same conclusion I have. Marriage is very very important! Fathers play an extremely important role in parenting, and mothers play a similarly important role. One or the other cannot act alone. It takes two to do the job right.

So back to the war on marriage. There are two main groups attacking marriage. The supposedly enlightened feminist movement. This movement should be called the anti-male movement. The goal of this movement is to teach us that men and women are created equally. Sounds good to me, but again the research shows this is just not the case. Extreme feminists believe women are from Venus and men are from Hades, or so I have heard. These feminists have a goal to teach society that anything a man can do a woman can do as well or better. Unfortunately, men are better at strength related tasks, math, and strategy. Women are feelers, they excel in biology, reading, and writing. Of course there are exceptions, but the highest math scores on prestigious tests are almost always received by men. The truth of the matter is that most of the feminist agenda is bunk. However, with money and liberals behind them this bunk pervades our society. These same feminists teach girls that marriage is settling. They teach women that homemakers are second class citizens, and that women are better off without men in their lives.

The second group of highly motivated fully funded extremists who are on the march against marriage is the homosexual community. This group feels strongly that they should have the right to marry. They have the money behind them to lobby and even in some cases buy what they want. If they are lucky they find sympathy among extreme judges who are willing to overlook research, public opinion, and even the votes of people like you and I. These judges rewrite laws based on this agenda. The agenda would tell you that this group deserves to be treated just like heterosexual married couples. This same group tells you that they are fully capable of raising children. They have their children testify and lobby for their parents. In fact some of these children even turn out perfectly normal. But..................the research is clear that children raised in same sex homes most resemble single parent children in behaviors and emotional difficulties. Additionally, there is research that shows other social and emotional implications may be present for these individuals.

Clearly, God's design is best and marriage is already perfect. Why is it under attack, and if all the research shows that marriage is the glue that holds society together why are so many people sitting back and watching? Are we allowing ourselves to become indoctrinated by these false agendas? And of course the biggest question of all how is it hateful to protect marriage? Feminists would have you believe that those who want to protect marriage do so to oppress women. Homosexuals would have you believe that those who fight for marriage are filled with hate and discrimination. They truly believe we fight for marriage not to protect this society and create a place that is safe and wholesome for our children, but out of a bizarre hatred for them and their choices. I can honestly say that I know homosexuals who are very kind and passionate people. They do not live horrible lives, but their lifestyles are very different from mine. As a bible believing Christian my heart is broken for all those out there who refuse the gift of grace. Whatever you chase with your whole heart that is your passion. These passions can easily become the idols our society worships instead of God. The thing is no matter what you fill your life with you feel empty without God............................

So the question is where do you stand, and what will you do about it?