Bravery

In the face of the unknown it takes bravery to move forward. I know that I for one am a chicken. I hate admitting it, but every little change scares me. I adapt well once I allow myself to be swept up in the change. One moment you are standing on the shore looking out into the unknown and the next a wave rocks your world. You find yourself tumbling forward and somersaulting back to the shore. It is frightening and exhilarating, and when you find your way back to your feet you feel stronger. You knew that the wave was coming and yet you stood there waiting. I too am standing on the shore. Watching the waves grow bigger and stronger. I know that I will be on my feet again before I know it, but in the moment I am mesmerized by the fear of what is to come.


It would be so much simpler if it were just me or just Eric and I. Its funny how the miracle of your children puts everything else into perspective. Moving with three children is like moving a mountain! What can we leave, what will we bring, and what will they not miss if it is left behind? All of these questions fill my mind as I wonder how to proceed. If life is a journey what vehicle do you use as you travel? Are you on foot? Do you drive a tank? Are you sailing along? Me I think I feel I am sinking. "Oh sure, you say. Tomorrow will be better, you tell me. Chin up you can do it," you coach. Yet, for all your platitudes I still find myself staring at the waves.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. One very well known quote that we have all heard. Now you just have to figure out what the rest of your life means. For me it is a big step in a scary direction. I know it will change us and I know we will be better for it, but somewhere deep in my heart the facade of bravery falls away and I am a small child wondering what to do. You see, my greatest fear is not the change, but if the change will be the right one. Will this make all the difference in the world or will we be afloat journeying through life forever without our paddles or a sail.

Now after you have pondered all of the levity that I have to offer, feel free to offer me platitudes and reassurance because we both know that when God closes a door he opens a window!


Psalm 40:1
I waited patiently for the LORD;
he turned to me and heard my cry.