What the heck am I doing

A question for a lifetime. The question of a lifetime. What are you doing? What are any of us doing? Maybe it is time to ask the really important question, are you doing what God has called you to do?

Take a minute and think about your schedule this week. What does your life look like? Are you busy doing God's work or just busy work? This is a hard question that many Christians do not ask themselves. The thing is your life is but a blink of an eye. One day you are here and the next you are gone. You have no idea how many days you have left on this earth. When they are over what will you be remembered for?
Luke 4:18-19 ¹⁸ “ The Spirit of the LORD is upon Me, Because He has anointed Me To preach the gospel to the poor;He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to the captives And recovery of sight to the blind, To set at liberty those who are oppressed; ¹⁹ To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD.”
God has chosen you, he has chosen me. I am to carry on Christ's mission. Before I can do that I need to check my schedule. I might need to prioritize because my time is so precious I will not waste it.

The time has come for all of us to really look at our lives and ask are you Christ aware? Do you see his presence and purpose in the choices you make? We all know those people out there who are very Self Aware. These Self Centered people are prevalent through history. We remember them in fact many of them are unforgettable. They arise throughout history with a purpose. They strongly believe in their purpose and dedicate their lives to it. They change the world. Who you ask am I referring to?
Adolf Hitler
Attila the Hun
Osama Bin Laden
Ruhollah Khomeini
Ivan the Terrible
Vlad the Impaler (the legend of Dracula is based on this guy)
Josef Stalin
This list is incomplete and only made up of men, but you get the idea. They all stood for something. They believed it to their core. Some of them died for what they believed. However, the difference between them and I is not believing strongly in something. It is not my passion about what I believe or even that I am willing to stand for something no matter what the consequence. It is simply that I am Christ Aware not Self Aware.

I've said it before and I am sure I will say it again. Some things are worth dying for. In this country where we take our very rights for granted it is very easy to become complacent. I refuse to go with the flow, because I am not a dead fish. If you don't stand for something you will fall for anything. I refuse to be naive or misguided. When I center myself on the one who truly matters I realize that not every fight is worth fighting. Not every battle must be won. However, his battles and victories I will celebrate to the depths of my soul!

In final consideration God did not call everyone to the same purpose. Honestly I love to sing. I would sing in choir, on stage, anywhere; but I am tone deaf to the core. God did not call me to sing. I also love to speak in public. I enjoy working at seminars and conferences. I know that I have a stage presence and I am not boring to listen to, at least not all the time. However, if this were God's plan for me I would be given opportunities to do this. God doesn't always give you the purpose you want. Being Christ centered means you have to set aside what you want for the purpose God has. Do not be caught up thinking I wish I could serve God in the way _____________ does, but instead serve him in what he has called you to do with your whole heart and mind. God doesn't call the worthy, but instead he makes worthy the called.

God has Chosen Me
God has chosen me, God has chosen me
to bring good news to the poor.
God has chosen me, God has chosen me
to bring new sight to those searching for light:
God has chosen me, chosen me:

Refrain
And to tell the world that God's kingdom is near,
to remove oppression and breakdown fear,
yes, God's time is near, God's time is near,
God's time is near, God's time is near.

God has chosen me, God has chosen me
to set alight a new fire.
God has chosen me, God has chosen me
to bring to birth a new kingdom on earth:
God has chosen me, chosen me:

God is calling me, God is calling me
in all whose cry is unheard.
God is calling me, God is calling me
to raise up the voice with no power or choice:
God is calling me, calling me:

Bold Obediance

Being obedient to God is very important, but scary. Acts 5: 19-20 But at night an angel of the Lord opened the prison doors and brought them out, and said, ²⁰ “Go, stand in the temple and speak to the people all the words of this life.
Picture it you were thrown in jail for speaking to the people. Your life has been threatened and you know that you are in a bit of a bind because of the way you have been preaching. An angel has come to you freeing you from prison, but told you to continue on the path that got you into trouble. What would you do?
Acts 5: 21 So at daybreak the apostles entered the Temple, as they were told, and immediately began teaching.
Bold Obedience requires faith. The disciples had to have faith enough to face going straight back to jail. They had to have faith enough in God to do exactly what they were told not to do. Notice they did it at daybreak. They didn't wait till noon, or the next day. Delayed obedience is disobedience.

Imagine saying to God, "Yeah I know you told me to preach your word, but I think I will go play golf today. Tomorrow it's going to rain so that will work better for me. You understand right God?" What do you think God would say?

Or maybe I'll just kind of obey. If I go early enough in the morning no one will be there and if no one is there then I can leave right? Partial obedience is still disobedience. The disciples knew this, and so they didn't partially obey.

I can tell you for a fact that when you are obedient to God people will question you. You will face opposition. Sometimes people you trust will break your trust. Those who love you will stand against you. They will question you when you are following God. I know this because I have experienced it.

When I tell people God brought us to Oklahoma I sometimes get funny looks. Often people question me. Why Oklahoma? I don't know why Oklahoma. God didn't tell me his entire plan. If he had revealed it to me it probably would have been too frightening. It really doesn't matter to me why God chose Oklahoma. The results are amazing. It transformed our lives one step in faith at a time. First we had jobs. Then we found an amazing church. Next we discovered lifegroup and forged a bond of friendship. Step by step life has changed. I can't say where the road leads tomorrow, but I know that the blessings along it are nothing short of a miracle. I can also say without a doubt that had I partially followed God, or not gone at all my life would not be the same. When you walk in obedience with God you are blessed. God uses you to bless others, and there will be miracles.

Question me anytime in my obedience to God. I am not ashamed to say I trust him and even though it didn't make sense and sounded crazy I was willing to go where he led. Are you willing to go? Are you answering his call? Are you obedient?

Chris Tomlin

Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow...

All your ways are good
All your ways are sure
I will trust in you alone
Higher than my side
High above my life
I will trust in you alone

Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow you
Who you love, I'll love
How you serve I'll serve
If this life I lose, I will follow you
I will follow you

Light unto the world
Light unto my life
I will live for you alone
You're the one I seek
Knowing I will find
All I need in you alone, in you alone

In you there's life everlasting
In you there's freedom for my soul
In you there joy, unending joy
and I will follow

Talking to Myself

We speak Boldly about what we believe deeply. Sometimes I find myself in a conversation with someone where we don't agree. These very conversations are the test of how I feel on any given subject. If I can let it go then obviously its not that important to me. However, there are some issues that I will not stand down on. These conversations often make people feel uncomfortable. These are the conversations that can become heated. We've all had these conversations. They are the conversations about what we believe deeply. In these conversations we find BOLD words. We are inspired by our feelings to speak boldly in the face of those who would disagree with us.
In Acts in the bible the disciples spoke boldly about Jesus. They believed deeply in him and they were willing to put their very lives at risk to speak boldly about him. They were not politically correct. Politically correct living is not BOLD. You can't do it. If you want to be like the disciples; then you are going to ruffle some feathers. If you don't it's not BOLD. Just remember what are you speaking boldly about?
If I am speaking Boldly about myself; then I believe in my own importance. It may be a sign that I believe to much in my own importance. If I am speaking Boldly about politics; then I believe the way our country is run is important. If I am speaking Boldly about education; then I believe that being educated is important. All of these things are fine, but truly do they further the kingdom of God? What I speak Boldly about reveals what I feel is deeply important. As a Christian, I need be speaking boldly the gospel. I need to be speaking boldly the message of Jesus. My values and the biblical principals that these values are built upon should be my BOLD message. In fact if I'm not speaking Boldly; I may not believe deeply.

I'm sure you've heard the saying that it's not crazy to talk to yourself, but answering back is not okay. I'm going to take it one step further. I believe that just as our Pastor preached this Sunday; when we believe deeply we will speak boldly to ourselves. We are all faced daily with opportunities to uplift our own minds and hearts through the Bold messages that we tell ourselves. Cause lets face it there's not always someone right there when you need them and even if they are there they may not have the BOLD words you need to hear.
1 Samuel 30:6 And David was greatly distressed; for the people spoke of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the LORD his God.
Sometimes it is okay to encourage yourself. Just like David we may find ourselves in a situation that we don't like. We can find ourselves in a place that is unpleasant, or even a predicament that seems unsolvable. At times like these we need to preach ourselves a sermon.
Phillipians 4:13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength
We all need these sermons from time to time. Life is hard the trials before us seem to be more than we can bear. Sometimes we are so close to the problem that all we can see is our weakness. At these times we lean on God and let him give us strength.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
I don't know why my 4 year old has seizures. I don't know why bad things happen to good people. I'm not certain that it is fair the way people are treated. I really want things to happen in my timing not his. Just when I think I have figured out God's plan things start to unravel. I can't ever get it all figured out, but that's when I need to preach myself this sermon! Because when I am reminded of Proverbs 3: 5-6; I start to feel better about my own incomprehension.

Proverbs 18:10 The name of the LORD is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe.
There are plenty of things that are beyond me. Beyond my strength. Sometimes I am overwhelmed and afraid, and at these times there is soo much power in his great name! The Lord has many names in the bible and each one describes an aspect of who he is. When you call upon the Lord acknowledging his attributes and his nature you are inviting him to be those things for you. My restorer, My helper, My strength, My redeemer, My hope, My patience, My truth, My counselor, My rewarder, My shield, My healer, and so much more. Jesus is all these and more. Sometimes we just need to preach a cry out to him sermon! Because once you say his name your heavy heart will be lifted.
John 16:33 "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
It is easy to get frustrated with the day to day struggles of our lives. It is easy to overlook God in our business. The bible clearly says that we will struggle, but most of my struggles are not nearly as hard as those Jesus faced. I do not have to make the hard choices he made, or sacrifices that he did. Because of what he did for me; I am saved.

Psalm 55:22 Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.
How easy it is to grow weary. Worrying about all the things that might happen or could happen. What does all this worrying really achieve. The only way to know what will be tomorrow is to live through today. There is a saying, "Do not let the worries of tomorrow rob you of the joys of today." Instead cast your cares upon the Lord he will not let you fall.

Psalm 119: 105 Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.
I feel lost and just don't know where to turn. These are the times that I have to remind myself. "You already have the roadmap." The bible, God's word will lead me. It will light my way in the darkness. All I need to do is turn to it and open my heart.
Psalm 126: 5 Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy.
Not every day is perfect. There are times of great sorrow. Times where the way is so unclear that we must trust in the Lord even though we cannot see the way. In these times I remember that I cannot stop on this path. Where God leads me I must follow, for in the harvest my basket will be full.

Phillipians 4: 6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Easier said then done. Worrying, anxiety, stress....it's so overwhelming. At times I find myself worrying about the silliest things. Sometimes I need a little perspective. Sometimes I need to count my blessings as I humbly hit my knees and cry out to God. There is so much peace in those moments of prayer. I feel his presence and all my fears seem to slip away.
Psalm 7: 1O LORD my God, in You I put my trust;Save me from all those who persecute me; And deliver me,
Its hard to know why people do the hateful things they do. Gossip, Cruelty, Disrespect.............the behaviors that run rampant through our society. You can find people who act this way in every workplace. I sometimes wonder if they get a kick out of making others suffer. It is easy to think that nothing you can do will ever make a situation better. This kind of thinking is right and wrong. There is something you can do when faced with persecution. In times when the world seems to be against you put your trust in God he will deliver you. Hit your knees and ask him for deliverance.
Romans 8: 28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.
God uses what was intended for evil. God uses all things. Every bad thing that happens to you God can use. We just have to be open to understanding that there is a purpose. God has a plan. I don't know his plan, but that doesn't mean it's not there. This plan is so much greater than anything I could hope to achieve, and if I just acknowledge his plan and purpose it will change everything. When I trust him completely; life as I know it is transformed.
1Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.(The Greek word for temptation can also be translated as tested. Red portion of this verse is my emphasis)
You will be tested. You will face trials and situations that you believe you cannot bear. There will be times that you will want to throw yourself to the ground and cry. There will be times that you think, "I cannot go on." I know that you feel hopelessness. Nothing you could ever do will change that. These are the times that you must remind yourself, you are not alone. God walks with you. He will not allow you to be tested beyond what you can bear. He will help you to endure. Cry out to him and lay all your burdens at his feet.

I'm sure you can think of a few verses and sermons of your own. Living BOLD, will change your life. With every step you take God will mold you and form you. He is the Potter and we are clay.When you are discouraged lift yourself up. I encourage you no matter how crazy it sounds to preach yourself a sermon!

Michael W. Smith
Draw me close to you
Never let me go
I lay it all down again
To hear you say that I'm your friend
You are my desire
No one else will do
Cause nothing else can take your place
To feel the warmth of your embrace
Help me find the way
Bring me back to you

You're all I want
You're all I've ever needed
You're all I want
Help me know you are near

Things that Amaze me

There are parents out there who have never had a baby in the NICU. Parents who have never had a child who has had an MRI, CAT SCAN, EEG, or even a blood test. There are parents out there who take for granted everyday how blessed they are. Am I jealous? Absolutely not!

Why you ask? Because I am a parent whose children have never undergone open heart surgery. My children have not had chemotherapy. I have never watched my child fight to breath, or live. I have never held my baby in my arms for the last time.

It amazes me how blessed I am. How blessed you are................

Now let me tell you about my day. For an EEG Xavier was allowed 3 hours of sleep. The sleep must be in the middle of the night with no naps after. We were scheduled for a 1:00 EEG. So at 3 AM he went to bed and at 6 AM we were up and running! Literally he ran all day everywhere! We spent the morning and most of the night watching one movie after another. I hate it, but tv was the only guarantee he would stay awake. Hailey woke up in the middle of the night and was fussy so that kind of interrupted our 3 hours of sleep! At 12:00 we headed to the hospital to find out that while we were plenty early the doctor's office had not authorized the EEG with insurance. Oh yeah did I mention the whole office was out to lunch! The lady at the hospital went all the way up to administration pulling strings, but when it came down to it they could not seem to get the woman in charge of sending the paperwork off excited about calling. She said she would call the next day. Now of course at this point I am about to unravel! I can't go without sleep again, and I have had a bit too much coffee so..................... I took the phone and spoke my mind. I did not cuss, but I was not kind. When I was done she agreed to call the insurance company. My insurance company was amazing they managed an approval and got it all faxed over in 20 minutes. With 1 minute left till they could no longer fit us in they ran us up to the EEG floor!

I was soo grateful I could have cried. We got the EEG done without tears and readjusting wires! He hates the wires and has trouble sleeping when they are behind his ears! I had to go pee the whole time and thought I might pee my pants! Seriously too much coffee and no time for the toilet because of all the crazy stuff!!! We don't know the results yet, but every EEG reminds me how blessed I am.

It doesn't matter if you have perfectly healthy children, or children who drive you crazy with all their medicines and tests each day is a gift from God. Don't forget they will grow up before you know it!

Laura Story

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things

‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we’d have faith to believe

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not our home

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

What are you praying for?

This is my prayer in the desert
And all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides

What did you pray for last week? Think about it, because "what you pray reflects what you believe about God."-Craig Groeschel This week I prayed a lot of the prayers. Prayers that I pray every week. The same tried and true prayers. Lead ME God. Protect MY family God. Help ME to better serve your will. This week at church we heard an amazing message on BOLD prayer. I never really thought about the way I was praying, or what I was praying for. In Acts Peter and John prayed a bold prayer together to God. Acts 4: 29-30 Now, Lord, look on their threats, and grant to Your servants that with all boldness they may speak Your word, ³⁰ by stretching out Your hand to heal, and that signs and wonders may be done through the name of Your holy Servant Jesus.”
Have you ever prayed to be Bold? Do you believe God is in charge? What do your prayers say about you. Well self centered prayer says that you believe God exists to serve you. Imagine how God feels hearing our same old same old prayers. Our lukewarm prayers. God Be with us today..............God thank you for this................ How about if you don't pray unless times are really tough. Are you one of those who says well there's nothing more we can do so I guess now we pray. Is God your last resort?

What are you afraid of? If you pray big/BOLD prayers you can expect big/BOLD results. Is your faith strong enough that you can handle God saying, "no." God doesn't always say yes, but he will hear your prayer. Pray for Boldness, pray for miracles, pray for things that would change the world.
Acts 4: 31 And when they had prayed, the place where they were assembled together was shaken; and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit, and they spoke the word of God with boldness.
If you pray Bold prayers you may find that God will answer them as he did for Peter and John. What are you waiting for, your prayers could change the world.

And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames

Chorus:
And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain

I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here


And this is my prayer in the battle
And triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand


All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship


This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've received I will sow