Are you too busy to be a good parent?

I am just too busy……… I hear that a lot. In fact the people who are often telling me this have no idea who they are talking to.  I work two jobs, have 4 kids, and serve at church. Eric attends University classes on Saturdays, serves in church, works, and takes care of the kids. Our kids do swimming lessons, soccer, and have school and church functions. We are always busy. Our normal week is packed, but we know when and how to say no.

With that in mind I realize that it is all too easy to become too busy. Hebrews 2: 1-2 Therefore we must give the more earnest heed to the things we have heard, lest we drift away.2 For if the word spoken through angels proved steadfast, and every transgression and disobedience received a just reward,  I refuse to drift away from what is important. Some things are worth giving everything up for. I think some of what our society lacks is passion. What are you passionate enough that you would give up everything for? Would you do it for your church? Is it religion?  How about Jesus? Luke 9:23-25  Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. ²⁴ For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will save it. ²⁵ For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and is himself destroyed or lost? It doesn’t say if you belong to this special church you will gain the world. It doesn’t say that if you turn around five times before the sun comes up on X day you will gain the world. It doesn’t give you a list of activities to keep you busy. The bible is clear you deny yourself and follow Jesus. Sometimes that means denying what you desire to do so that you can be doing something better.

Really it’s all about priorities. Ephesians 5:15  See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, The fool tries to do it all. They know they can’t accomplish it all, but they are determined to stuff  as much into the time they have as they can. Foolish parents are the norm today. Their kids do homework on the way to one practice or another every night. These kids never eat at home because there isn’t time. They have at least two activities going on every night of the week. Their parents need electronic calendars just to track their schedules and often still find their children double booked. The parents of these children don’t have time for board games, quiet evening walks, dinner around the table as a family, playing with friends, or even family devotions. It’s just impossible to fit it all in.  The good news is that you don’t have to. In fact when asked many of these kids would rather not. This rigorous do it all schedule is as stressful to the kiddos as it is to the parents and often is an attempt for parents to let their kids do all the things they wish they could have done.

To better illustrate why this is wrong I want to tell you about my life. When I was little I wanted nothing more than to be a ballerina. If you know me then you know that would never have happened. I can’t dance, but I did want to do dance. I loved music and dance. My mother was the product of an upbringing where she danced and danced. She wanted me to not have the pressures of that. So I never did it. As a young adult I swore I would put my daughter in dance. My daughter loves music and she would most definitely be good at it. However, my daughter hates performing in front of people. This year is the first year she hasn’t cried through her school’s holiday program. It makes her frantic to be in front of all those people. I know that I would enjoy seeing her dance, but she wouldn’t love it. So the question becomes who would she be doing it for? What would the purpose be? And the big question, is it really a good use of both our time?

Deuteronomy 6: 6-7 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. ⁷ Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. It seems pretty clear to me that I am to teach my children daily through my interactions with them. This scripture verse makes it clear that we are to make time for meaningful conversations and reflections with our children. I can’t just be the chauffeur and cheerleader at the many events they are involved in. I think it is apparent that as a parent we need to set aside time for these interactions. There’s a big debate about quantity vs. quality and many misconceptions that go with that. I recently heard a speaker talk about new research that says if you have the quantity the quality will follow. Some of the best memories I have growing up were not big planned events. If my parents had been totally into providing quality over quantity I might have missed the lessons learned in the little special moments along the way.

 Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. My goal as a parent is succinctly summarized in proverbs 22:6. I don’t want my children to depart from the path I set them on. If I show them the right path I can sit back and watch them grow and learn, but most of all I want to marvel at the amazing things they  do along that path.  I don’t want them to miss the point of life because they are too busy………………..

Take a minute and write down the three most important priorities in your life today.

1.

2.

3.

What is keeping you from accomplishing those things? Are you too busy being busy?

 

American Dream Casting Crowns

All work no play may have made Jack a dull boy
But all work no God has left Jack with a lost soul
But he's moving on full steam
He's chasing the American dream
And he's gonna give his family the finer things

Not this time son I've no time to waste
Maybe tomorrow we'll have time to play
And then he slips into his new BMW
And drives farther and farther and farther away

So He works all day and tries to sleep at night
He says things will get better;
Better in time

And he works and he builds with his own two hands
And he pours all he has in a castle made with sand
But the wind and the rain are comin' crashing in
Time will tell just how long his kingdom stands
His kingdom stands

His American Dream is beginning to seem
More and more like a nightmare
With every passing day
"Daddy, can you come to my game?"
"Oh Baby, please don't work late."
Another wasted weekend
And they are slipping away

'Cause he works all day and lies awake at night
He tells them things will get better
It'll just take a little more time

He used to say, "Whoever dies with the most toys wins"
But if he loses his soul, what has he gained in the end
I'll take a shack on the rock
Over a castle in the sand
Now he works all day and cries alone at night
It's not getting any better
Looks like he's running out of time
'Cause he worked and he built with his own two hands
And he poured all he had in a castle made with sand
But the wind and the rain are coming crashing in
Time will tell just how long his kingdom stands
His kingdom stands

All they really wanted was You
All they really wanted was You
All they really wanted was You

What’s in your heart and can God use it?

If you are the prettiest, smartest, well educated, and most prepared person out there I have some good news for you; God can probably still use you. However, if you are broken, sinful, unprepared, and flawed God will probably choose to use you. Don’t be surprised that he chose you instead of someone else. This is a mistake that so many of us make. It keeps us from doing big things. We think that those around us are better qualified. They’re less flawed, more prepared, or just better Christians. God knows your heart and that’s what he’s looking at. He doesn’t see your appearance, or look at how well you’ve prepared. He just looks at your heart.

If you think he can’t use you look at some of the people he’s used:

Moses stuttered. David's armor didn't fit. John Mark was rejected by Paul. Timothy had ulcers. Hosea married a prostitute. Rahad was a prostitute.
Amos' only training was in the school of fig-tree pruning. Jacob was a liar. David had an affair.

Solomon was too rich. Job went bankrupt.

Abraham was too old. David, Jeremiah, and Timothy were too young.

Peter was afraid of death. Lazarus was dead.

John was self-righteous. Naomi was a widow.

Paul was a murderer. So was Moses.

Jonah ran from God. Miriam was a gossip. Gideon and Thomas both doubted.

Jeremiah was depressed and suicidal. Elijah was burnt out. John the Baptist was an introvert who ate bugs. Martha was a worry-wart. Mary was lazy.

Samson had long hair. Noah got drunk.

Did I mention that Moses had a short fuse? So did Peter, Paul -- well, lots of folks did. But God doesn't require perfection. In fact we don’t find too many perfect people serving him. Only 1 in the history of the bible and in return he was hung on a cross to die for all.

Really think about it, how unlikely is Jesus? His mother’s faithfulness was questioned; some thought her an adulterous. His parents were young. He was born in a barn. His family fled from the law. They lived in exile for years. He had no college education, but was a trained carpenter. Yet this man led 12 disciples across the country changing lives. He was so influential that the heads of church and state put him to death.

So what is it that makes ordinary people extraordinary? It’s their heart. It’s a passion that God has laid on their heart. An awe inspiring need to serve him no matter the cost transforms these ordinary people into heroes. I can give you some modern day examples of this:

Mother Teresa was born in Yugoslovia. She was one of 5 children. Two of her siblings did not live to adulthood. She was from a well-off family and grew up in a comfortable home. Her father died when she was a teenager, and at 18 she decided to become a nun and missionary. The rest you know………

Youcef Nadarkhani is a father of two, a pastor, and imprisoned Christian who may die for his beliefs. Youcef was born in Iran. He is an Evangelical pastor who spoke out on forced religious education in Iranian schools. I’m sure he was concerned as any parent would be about what his children were being taught. He has been imprisoned and is sentenced to die. His crime being a Christian, and the government has told him that if he renounces Christianity they will free him.

Gianna Jessen whose life inspired the movie October baby has Cerebral Palsy. Her mother was 17 years old when she was born as a result of a saline abortion performed at 7 ½ months of gestation. Instead of dying she lived. Gianna fought for life in a local hospital for 3 months. She has not had an easy life, but she says she is happy to be alive and thanks God that she is here. She does not consider herself a by-product of conception, a clump of tissue, or any other of the titles given to a child in the womb. Gianna considers herself a person with a right to be alive, and she thanks God that she has had the chance to share her life with others.

There are more modern day religious heroes than you or I know. Matthew 25:40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ Modern day Christian heroes serve others out of love. They have a burden for God and they cannot just stand still. Modern day Christian heroes do Weird stuff. They don’t value the things society tells them are important, but the things God tells them matter. They know that God will use them and they have enough faith to pursue his purpose even in the face of disappointment and uncertainty. I believe the difference between a Christian hero and you or I is a small thing. You see the devil will place obstacles in your way. The devil doesn’t want you or I to serve God’s purpose and his mission is to distract and divert us from it. These Christian heroes see those obstacles and choose to overcome. These are people who no matter how many times the world knocks them down they get up again. They praise God in the storms and worship his purpose even in their pain. These are the people we need to raise up as examples for our children, and not some sports or movie star.

But most of all this is what we should aspire to be…………………………………

John 15:13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.

Grappling with why….

Why didn’t God answer my prayers? Why hasn’t God healed someone I love? Why do bad things happen to good people? Why is life so hard?

^{Mark 11: 24} Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. ²⁵ And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.

When you are praying God may not be answering your prayers because of what is in your heart. The bible clearly says we must first forgive others so that our father in heaven will forgive us. I can think of many times I have wanted something from God and not received it at a point in my life where I was filled with bitterness toward someone else. Can you? The bible tells us that we are to forgive others as we wish to be forgiven. Well, that my friends is easier said than done…… But what if when we choose, because it is always a choice, not to forgive we are also choosing not to have our prayers answered? Is it worth it to hold onto your bitterness?

James 4:3 When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

This verse from James is one I have read and shared before. It really resonates with me, especially when God doesn’t answer my prayers. How many people do you think prayed to win the Mega-Million lottery a few weeks back? How many of those people were Christians? I am sure quite a few. It seemed like everyone bought a ticket. Didn’t you? The thing is God wants the glory. He wants to meet your need where you are. It’s not about money with God or pleasures. God wants you and your heart. God sees what the end result would be. It’s not that he doesn’t love you in fact it’s more that he does love you. Think of it this way. Your kids have a whole basket of Easter candy. The candy is good, but they want to eat it all. A little candy is great, but a lot will make them sick. You as an adult know this. It’s not that you love them any less when you say no more candy today. In fact you say no out of love. God loves you more than that and he too says no out of love. Just because you didn’t win the mega million doesn’t mean you are less loved. He knows that having too much can make you sick so he said no. You may think you would do one thing with the money, but money can become a powerful idol and God knows what it would do to your life and mine. Proverbs 6:2 All a person’s ways seem pure to them,
but motives are weighed by the LORD.

Of course it might not be your motives that are the problem. It could be your faith. Do you really believe God will heal the person you are praying for? Do you believe God will change that sinner’s heart? After all these years do you still believe that your crazy drunk relative can find God? Mark 9:23 If you can’?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for one who believes.” If you don’t believe God will answer a prayer there is no point in praying it. Do not say well we’ve tried everything else all we can do now is pray. Start each day, end each day, and throughout each day PRAY. God can do all. That doesn’t mean he will, but if you truly believe he won’t he may decide to prove you right. It amazes me sometimes that those who don’t believe in God have such animosity toward those who do. C S Lewis wrote: “Atheists express their rage against God although in their view He does not exist.” Why would you hate something that doesn’t exist? Why is it that when God doesn’t do what you want him to you question his very existence? I think the answer is simple I can most definitely run a mile. I have run a mile in the past. I will run a mile in the future, but today I am not going to run a mile. Why not you ask? Well today is not a good day to run a mile. It is cold, it is rainy, and I have church tonight. Church is better than running a mile. So today instead of running a mile I will do something better. God can answer your prayer, has answered your prayers, and will answer your prayers; but this prayer he chooses not to because he has something better for you. Believe that he will and he can, and when he doesn’t you must still believe. James 1: 6-7 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. ⁷ That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.

It’s just not fair is it? Not fair that God can answer your prayers and won’t. Not fair that you a good person struggle with bad things. It’s not fair that babies die, that corrupt politicians exist, it’s not fair that some people have tons of food and others starve, and it’s not fair that I didn’t win the mega-million. ;) We’ve all heard the phrase life’s not fair. John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” You were not made for this world. Remember that when you are thinking of unfairness.

Just because something bad happens does not prove there is no God. Atheists will tell you that if there is a God then why is there evil? The thing is atheist, Christian, or agnostic we all grapple with the question of why bad things happen. I believe there are two reasons bad things happen.

1. Bad things happen so you can see the Glory of God

On September 11, 2001 there were thousands of good people going about their day. Many of these people were doing exactly what they did every day. No one saw it coming. America was forever changed in an instant. By the time the second plane hit we were reeling. So many why’s unanswered in that moment and on that day. Maybe you should take a look at what happened during and after 9/11:

“I had not prayed in years, especially the lifestyle I was living. And my prayer was very specific I said ‘Lord, I need to feel alive again. I feel that I have a heart that’s not beating. I don’t want to feel this way.’ I said, ‘God let me see with your eyes and let me feel with your heart what you’re feeling now.’ Suddenly I felt God’s hand touch me. Tears start coming down my eyes and to me that was impossibility. I felt good, like for the first time in my life God was actually with me.” Steve Negron

Then in the midst of America’s darkest hours and in the midst of the enormous devastation, John says he believes hope was revealed. Four steel girder crosses laid upright in the middle of Building 6. All the workers in the immediate area, both believers and non-believers, stopped what they were doing and bowed their heads and prayed. John Picarello

There is another amazing report that more than 100 members of a New York church who worked at the Twin Towers got a witness in their spirit to not go to work on the morning of 9/11.

“It was the most beautiful, clear day on the east coast ... I sent out an email to someone that goes to my church saying, ‘Something is happening to me this morning. I know there is a call of God on my life. I have just been chasing stuff in America, but I want to be used by God,’” John wrote. Moments later, he heard an incredible explosion as the first plane hit the North Tower. While the walls shook and jet fuel from the plane ignited a fire all around him and thousands of other employees, everyone began to run for the stairs. Then he heard another explosion, as the second plane crashed into the South Tower, where his pregnant wife worked. No calls could be made to his wife because cell phones were not functioning properly. When he finally reached the plaza, huddling together with 15-20 other people, all he could think was, “These people that are with you, where are they going without Jesus?” “I started crying out to Jesus, and I asked those 15-20 people to call upon the name of the Lord. The most incredible thing happened. Not one tried to argue with me or debate with me. But as I started calling upon the name of the Lord, they followed in unison and I could hear these people cry, ‘Jesus,’ with me for a few minutes.”

Twenty minutes later, everyone around him had been crushed or smashed by the rubble. He was the only survivor.“I said, ‘God, they just called upon your name, and how come did they not make it?’ And I felt God saying, ‘Sujo, they made their peace with me in their dying moments and they are resting with me in my presence.’”As rescue workers soon led him out of the debris, he could not help but ask God why he spared his own life. Believing that his wife was dead already, John soon received a call on his cell phone with his wife’s caller ID on it. Though he assumed that it was someone calling to tell him the news of his wife, he answered, only to hear the reassuring voice of Mary on the other line – she was running late for work that morning. After being reunited with the love of his life, John prayed that night, “God, I am done chasing things that have been on my heart. I have been chasing success, fame, financial security, but from now on I want to be chasing that which is in your heart.” From that day forth, John following his convictions, launched Sujo John Ministries, an international evangelistic ministry dedicated to spreading the Gospel message of grace, which he so vividly experienced himself.

September 11, 2011 is only one example of a tragedy that God used.John 9:3 “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him. In your pain and in your sorrow God is there. You may be like the blind man in the Gospel of John. Through no fault of his own was he blind, but the glory of God was revealed to many when he was blind no more. Sometimes bad things happen because a miracle is needed. 9-11 led to a religious revival. Many people who had never sought Jesus found him and were saved. God’s plan in many tragedies is to save someone or in the case of 9-11 thousands died so hundreds of thousands might struggle with the tragedy, seek God, and be saved.

2. Your definition of good people is flawed.

The other thing you must know is all men and all women have sinned. You and I are sinners. Our nature is deprived. The bible says: 1 John 1:8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. We can try to be good enough every single day for the rest of our lives, but the reality is that’s just not enough. Romans 3: 23-24 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, ²⁴ and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. All fall short. That means that I am as much a sinner as you are. God doesn’t distinguish between sins either. Sin is sin. The only way out of sin was a price that was very high. God sent a truly good person. One who was completely without sin, and he allowed a bad thing to happen to a good person. Only once in all of history has a bad thing happened to a truly good person. It happened when they hung his son, Jesus, on a cross to pay for the sins of every man. He died sinless so that you might be saved from your sins. 2Chronicles6: 36“When they sin against you—for there is no one who does not sin—and you become angry with them and give them over to the enemy, who takes them captive to a land far away or near; Remember, that there is no one who does not sin. No matter what they tell you. No matter how holy they seem. Everyone sins. We sin in our hearts and minds daily. The bible tells us our thoughts of anger are as bad as our actions.

So the next time something horrible happens, and you ask why did that happen to such a good person? Remember it happened to a sinner. It doesn’t mean that a tragedy is any less a tragedy. Horrible sad things happen every day. They are tragic. They will shake you, but God will do something amazing through them. He saves people in the midst of tragedies. Genesis 50:20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.

I believe that God is good. I believe that God will answer my prayers. But if he doesn’t I WILL STILL BELIEVE

Note: Craig Groeschel preached an amazing multi-part series called Why. This series has insight on other why questions that we ask and delves deeper into the ones that I highlighted here. I recommend taking the time and watching it online. It is free to anyone who wants to watch it. Here’s the link: WHY

Mac Powell

He was pierced for our transgressions
He was crushed for our sins
The punishment that brought us peace was upon Him
And by His wounds, by His wounds we are healed

He was pierced for our transgressions
He was crushed for our sins
The punishment that brought us peace was upon Him
And by His wounds, by His wounds we are healed

We are healed by Your sacrifice
And the life that You gave
We are healed for You paid the price
By Your grace we are saved
We are saved

He was pierced for our transgressions
And crushed for our sins
The punishment that brought us peace was upon Him
And by His wounds, by His wounds we are healed

We are healed by Your sacrifice
And the life that You gave
We are healed for You paid the price
By Your grace we are saved
We are saved

He was pierced for our transgressions
He was crushed for our sins
The punishment that brought us peace was upon Him
And by His wounds, by His wounds we are healed
And by His wounds, by His wounds

What can wash away my sin?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus