Forgiveness First

I want you to picture in your mind someone you have hurt. Maybe it was intentional, and maybe it was accidental. Think back to the situation and what you did. Have you asked them for forgiveness? We often talk in church about forgiving others for all the ways they have wronged us, but don't spend enough time talking about asking for that same forgiveness from those we have hurt.

There are too types of sin: that of commission and that of omission. The sins of commission are things we have done. The sins of omission are things we have failed to do. Sin separates us from God. God cannot fully use you for his will and you cannot fully live in his blessings if you are full of sin.

It is time to seek out those you have hurt and apologize. Sincerely and humbly apologize for what you have done wrong. God calls us to be humble and without pride. It is pride that stands in the way of apologies. If you are thinking about how mad you are at someone and how you have every right to be you are full of pride. Pride is a terrible thing it fills us up with falseness and empties us of truth. The truth cannot be seen through the pride. Often in marriages that are ending in divorce couples sit across a table with a counselor, or even a lawyer. If you were watching these pride filled people exhort the fault of their spouse at every turn you would be shocked. As an outsider looking in it is easy to see that both parties hold fault in the matter. It is also easy to see that their blindness is caused by their pride. When we hear about couples who spend thousands of dollars to get custody of the family fish we shake our heads, but alas: Matthew 7: 3-5 ³ And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? ⁴ Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? ⁵ Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye

Now the plank may be your own pride. It may be forgiveness you need to ask someone for. If you genuinely approach someone in a humble and apologetic way you may be surprised what will happen. Don't make excuses for your actions the reason you felt the need to do something doesn't matter. I don't really care why you stole the baby's bottle and in the mind of a 2 year old it may have seemed like a rational choice, but it is time to give it back now!!!! Accept the consequences, just because you said you are sorry does not mean you get to keep the bottle or avoid time-out!!! Change your behavior. Don't wait till I turn my back and take it away again! I will know who took it!!! Most of all ask the person to forgive you!

In the real world you are not my nearly 3 year old child tormenting his nearly 1 year old sister, but an adult making adult choices with adult consequences. The reality is that if you throw your friend under the bus in a business meeting that friendship will never ever be the same. If you cheat on your spouse or betray their trust there will be a consequence. All actions have consequences. Pride is what keeps us from facing them and taking our licks! Sometimes we have to choose to value the relationship more than being right! Pride is the voice that says hey this isn't my fault! The humble person says it doesn't matter this is all about forgiveness!

The other thing you have to remember is it is all about what people perceive. You may not perceive that you did anything wrong in many instances, but if the other person does then it is better to humbly apologize than to pridefully argue your innocence!