Just Remember

Tenth Avenue North: By Your Side
Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When Idrank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

Do you ever wish that you had a remote for your life. I think I once saw a movie like this. Adam Sandler starred in it and he had a remote and could fast forward through all the boring parts. I don't want to fast forward, but sometimes I want to rewind. To remember, to look , to relive the joy.Job 11: 16 Because you would forget your misery,And remember it as waters that have passed away, We must also remember the sad times, the grief, our lowest moments when we sought God and trusted him even in our pain. Today the message at church was about remembering, and it made me really think. I went back and looked remembering where I started with this blogging: February 22, 2009 if you click on the date you can read what I wrote in my second blog post ever!March 4, 2009, this one was after Xavier's first seizure, I can remember feeling lost and afraid wondering if what I believed was really true, and on March 21, 2009 ,I was still waiting for an MRI. Could my child have a brain tumor? Where was my God now? How about something wonderful, prepare yourself for this one it is mushy March 9, 2009, because he really is! What about remembering relief and knowing that the storm was waiting on the horizon, April 5, 2009, I had to decide if I wanted to continue teaching what I was currently teaching. The year was coming to a close and I needed a new job if I wasn't staying at my difficult current job. Here is one I should read every single time my kids are driving me crazy, April 19, 2009
As you can see there was so much going on in 2009 my life was in turmoil! Some of you know how hard it was for me, but some of you may not know. A little back story is in order I suppose. My husband and I had moved to Montana in 2007. We were going to be close to his father who had cancer and raise our children where we grew up. All our family was there and it just made sense. We didn't spend a lot of time praying about it; this was what our parents had been pressuring us to do for a long time. So on a bright July day we left our house, that was under contract, but not closing as it should, our friends, our old jobs which were very secure, and everything we knew. We set out to start a new life, but from the start it was harder than we expected. First Eric had trouble finding a job, good daycare was not plentiful, my job was cut at the end of the year, our dream house that we had chosen to build took 5 months longer to be built than planned. In the meantime we were blessed and surprised with a third child, and that of course meant the new house just wasn't quite big enough for us all. In 2008 I went to work at a job that challenged and frustrated me while Eric worked at a job that he just plain hated. It soon became apparent that we could not go on this way. Of course the housing market was tanking. Unemployment was at 17% in some areas, and there were no other jobs. What do you do when you run into a brick wall? You pray a lot and then you let God move the mountain, June 2009

So now you know how I got here. There is more to the story, but God moved me and I need to remember that every day. Once I arrived in his promised land, Oklahoma I know that sounds weird, everything changed. October 2009. 2010 brought so much to my life, and it would take a long time to go through it all with you, but suffice it to say God led me to do new and scary things. Every time I think that there is something in my life I cannot face God helps me. God has taught me that I am an overcomer. I know I cannot scale the wall of my own accord, but his divine boost gets me over every time. I am so glad that I started blogging, because at the time I had so much going on and wondered what was the point. I am so glad that I wrote it all down because I needed to be able to look back and remember. Sometimes we all need to to see a purpose beyond ourselves. Remembering can do that. It will direct our actions into the future. Remembering helps us reflect. History teaches us a lesson, and remembering makes us wise.

I would love for you to take the time and remember with me. To look back over my blogs and all that I wrote down, but more importantly I would like to encourage you to remember. Today in the wonderful message at church the two steps of memory were laid out for us:
1. Write it down
2. Tell it to others
This life that hasn't gone how I expected, and the blog that I started writing before I knew why I was writing it all lead to one place. The place that I am going on the road that he has led me to.
Luke 23: 42 Then he said to Jesus, “Lord, remember me when You come into Your kingdom.”

Tenth Avenue North
Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

(Chorus 2x)

Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go

(Chorus 2x)