Talking to Myself

We speak Boldly about what we believe deeply. Sometimes I find myself in a conversation with someone where we don't agree. These very conversations are the test of how I feel on any given subject. If I can let it go then obviously its not that important to me. However, there are some issues that I will not stand down on. These conversations often make people feel uncomfortable. These are the conversations that can become heated. We've all had these conversations. They are the conversations about what we believe deeply. In these conversations we find BOLD words. We are inspired by our feelings to speak boldly in the face of those who would disagree with us.
In Acts in the bible the disciples spoke boldly about Jesus. They believed deeply in him and they were willing to put their very lives at risk to speak boldly about him. They were not politically correct. Politically correct living is not BOLD. You can't do it. If you want to be like the disciples; then you are going to ruffle some feathers. If you don't it's not BOLD. Just remember what are you speaking boldly about?
If I am speaking Boldly about myself; then I believe in my own importance. It may be a sign that I believe to much in my own importance. If I am speaking Boldly about politics; then I believe the way our country is run is important. If I am speaking Boldly about education; then I believe that being educated is important. All of these things are fine, but truly do they further the kingdom of God? What I speak Boldly about reveals what I feel is deeply important. As a Christian, I need be speaking boldly the gospel. I need to be speaking boldly the message of Jesus. My values and the biblical principals that these values are built upon should be my BOLD message. In fact if I'm not speaking Boldly; I may not believe deeply.

I'm sure you've heard the saying that it's not crazy to talk to yourself, but answering back is not okay. I'm going to take it one step further. I believe that just as our Pastor preached this Sunday; when we believe deeply we will speak boldly to ourselves. We are all faced daily with opportunities to uplift our own minds and hearts through the Bold messages that we tell ourselves. Cause lets face it there's not always someone right there when you need them and even if they are there they may not have the BOLD words you need to hear.
1 Samuel 30:6 And David was greatly distressed; for the people spoke of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the LORD his God.
Sometimes it is okay to encourage yourself. Just like David we may find ourselves in a situation that we don't like. We can find ourselves in a place that is unpleasant, or even a predicament that seems unsolvable. At times like these we need to preach ourselves a sermon.
Phillipians 4:13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength
We all need these sermons from time to time. Life is hard the trials before us seem to be more than we can bear. Sometimes we are so close to the problem that all we can see is our weakness. At these times we lean on God and let him give us strength.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
I don't know why my 4 year old has seizures. I don't know why bad things happen to good people. I'm not certain that it is fair the way people are treated. I really want things to happen in my timing not his. Just when I think I have figured out God's plan things start to unravel. I can't ever get it all figured out, but that's when I need to preach myself this sermon! Because when I am reminded of Proverbs 3: 5-6; I start to feel better about my own incomprehension.

Proverbs 18:10 The name of the LORD is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe.
There are plenty of things that are beyond me. Beyond my strength. Sometimes I am overwhelmed and afraid, and at these times there is soo much power in his great name! The Lord has many names in the bible and each one describes an aspect of who he is. When you call upon the Lord acknowledging his attributes and his nature you are inviting him to be those things for you. My restorer, My helper, My strength, My redeemer, My hope, My patience, My truth, My counselor, My rewarder, My shield, My healer, and so much more. Jesus is all these and more. Sometimes we just need to preach a cry out to him sermon! Because once you say his name your heavy heart will be lifted.
John 16:33 "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
It is easy to get frustrated with the day to day struggles of our lives. It is easy to overlook God in our business. The bible clearly says that we will struggle, but most of my struggles are not nearly as hard as those Jesus faced. I do not have to make the hard choices he made, or sacrifices that he did. Because of what he did for me; I am saved.

Psalm 55:22 Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.
How easy it is to grow weary. Worrying about all the things that might happen or could happen. What does all this worrying really achieve. The only way to know what will be tomorrow is to live through today. There is a saying, "Do not let the worries of tomorrow rob you of the joys of today." Instead cast your cares upon the Lord he will not let you fall.

Psalm 119: 105 Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.
I feel lost and just don't know where to turn. These are the times that I have to remind myself. "You already have the roadmap." The bible, God's word will lead me. It will light my way in the darkness. All I need to do is turn to it and open my heart.
Psalm 126: 5 Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy.
Not every day is perfect. There are times of great sorrow. Times where the way is so unclear that we must trust in the Lord even though we cannot see the way. In these times I remember that I cannot stop on this path. Where God leads me I must follow, for in the harvest my basket will be full.

Phillipians 4: 6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Easier said then done. Worrying, anxiety, stress....it's so overwhelming. At times I find myself worrying about the silliest things. Sometimes I need a little perspective. Sometimes I need to count my blessings as I humbly hit my knees and cry out to God. There is so much peace in those moments of prayer. I feel his presence and all my fears seem to slip away.
Psalm 7: 1O LORD my God, in You I put my trust;Save me from all those who persecute me; And deliver me,
Its hard to know why people do the hateful things they do. Gossip, Cruelty, Disrespect.............the behaviors that run rampant through our society. You can find people who act this way in every workplace. I sometimes wonder if they get a kick out of making others suffer. It is easy to think that nothing you can do will ever make a situation better. This kind of thinking is right and wrong. There is something you can do when faced with persecution. In times when the world seems to be against you put your trust in God he will deliver you. Hit your knees and ask him for deliverance.
Romans 8: 28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.
God uses what was intended for evil. God uses all things. Every bad thing that happens to you God can use. We just have to be open to understanding that there is a purpose. God has a plan. I don't know his plan, but that doesn't mean it's not there. This plan is so much greater than anything I could hope to achieve, and if I just acknowledge his plan and purpose it will change everything. When I trust him completely; life as I know it is transformed.
1Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.(The Greek word for temptation can also be translated as tested. Red portion of this verse is my emphasis)
You will be tested. You will face trials and situations that you believe you cannot bear. There will be times that you will want to throw yourself to the ground and cry. There will be times that you think, "I cannot go on." I know that you feel hopelessness. Nothing you could ever do will change that. These are the times that you must remind yourself, you are not alone. God walks with you. He will not allow you to be tested beyond what you can bear. He will help you to endure. Cry out to him and lay all your burdens at his feet.

I'm sure you can think of a few verses and sermons of your own. Living BOLD, will change your life. With every step you take God will mold you and form you. He is the Potter and we are clay.When you are discouraged lift yourself up. I encourage you no matter how crazy it sounds to preach yourself a sermon!

Michael W. Smith
Draw me close to you
Never let me go
I lay it all down again
To hear you say that I'm your friend
You are my desire
No one else will do
Cause nothing else can take your place
To feel the warmth of your embrace
Help me find the way
Bring me back to you

You're all I want
You're all I've ever needed
You're all I want
Help me know you are near

Things that Amaze me

There are parents out there who have never had a baby in the NICU. Parents who have never had a child who has had an MRI, CAT SCAN, EEG, or even a blood test. There are parents out there who take for granted everyday how blessed they are. Am I jealous? Absolutely not!

Why you ask? Because I am a parent whose children have never undergone open heart surgery. My children have not had chemotherapy. I have never watched my child fight to breath, or live. I have never held my baby in my arms for the last time.

It amazes me how blessed I am. How blessed you are................

Now let me tell you about my day. For an EEG Xavier was allowed 3 hours of sleep. The sleep must be in the middle of the night with no naps after. We were scheduled for a 1:00 EEG. So at 3 AM he went to bed and at 6 AM we were up and running! Literally he ran all day everywhere! We spent the morning and most of the night watching one movie after another. I hate it, but tv was the only guarantee he would stay awake. Hailey woke up in the middle of the night and was fussy so that kind of interrupted our 3 hours of sleep! At 12:00 we headed to the hospital to find out that while we were plenty early the doctor's office had not authorized the EEG with insurance. Oh yeah did I mention the whole office was out to lunch! The lady at the hospital went all the way up to administration pulling strings, but when it came down to it they could not seem to get the woman in charge of sending the paperwork off excited about calling. She said she would call the next day. Now of course at this point I am about to unravel! I can't go without sleep again, and I have had a bit too much coffee so..................... I took the phone and spoke my mind. I did not cuss, but I was not kind. When I was done she agreed to call the insurance company. My insurance company was amazing they managed an approval and got it all faxed over in 20 minutes. With 1 minute left till they could no longer fit us in they ran us up to the EEG floor!

I was soo grateful I could have cried. We got the EEG done without tears and readjusting wires! He hates the wires and has trouble sleeping when they are behind his ears! I had to go pee the whole time and thought I might pee my pants! Seriously too much coffee and no time for the toilet because of all the crazy stuff!!! We don't know the results yet, but every EEG reminds me how blessed I am.

It doesn't matter if you have perfectly healthy children, or children who drive you crazy with all their medicines and tests each day is a gift from God. Don't forget they will grow up before you know it!

Laura Story

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things

‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we’d have faith to believe

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not our home

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

What are you praying for?

This is my prayer in the desert
And all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides

What did you pray for last week? Think about it, because "what you pray reflects what you believe about God."-Craig Groeschel This week I prayed a lot of the prayers. Prayers that I pray every week. The same tried and true prayers. Lead ME God. Protect MY family God. Help ME to better serve your will. This week at church we heard an amazing message on BOLD prayer. I never really thought about the way I was praying, or what I was praying for. In Acts Peter and John prayed a bold prayer together to God. Acts 4: 29-30 Now, Lord, look on their threats, and grant to Your servants that with all boldness they may speak Your word, ³⁰ by stretching out Your hand to heal, and that signs and wonders may be done through the name of Your holy Servant Jesus.”
Have you ever prayed to be Bold? Do you believe God is in charge? What do your prayers say about you. Well self centered prayer says that you believe God exists to serve you. Imagine how God feels hearing our same old same old prayers. Our lukewarm prayers. God Be with us today..............God thank you for this................ How about if you don't pray unless times are really tough. Are you one of those who says well there's nothing more we can do so I guess now we pray. Is God your last resort?

What are you afraid of? If you pray big/BOLD prayers you can expect big/BOLD results. Is your faith strong enough that you can handle God saying, "no." God doesn't always say yes, but he will hear your prayer. Pray for Boldness, pray for miracles, pray for things that would change the world.
Acts 4: 31 And when they had prayed, the place where they were assembled together was shaken; and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit, and they spoke the word of God with boldness.
If you pray Bold prayers you may find that God will answer them as he did for Peter and John. What are you waiting for, your prayers could change the world.

And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames

Chorus:
And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain

I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here


And this is my prayer in the battle
And triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand


All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship


This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've received I will sow

What are you afraid of

Isaiah 41:10 Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’

You have nothing to fear so why are you so afraid? Seriously, what is the worst that could happen. If you were to step outside of your comfort zone, what would really happen?

In Acts in the bible the apostles were BOLD. They acted with confidence and without fear. Even when faced with death they stood boldly in faith teaching about Jesus. God empowered them to do something. To be BOLD. Yet here we stand afraid to get out of the boat. When confronted with those who choose not to believe. What do you say when your beliefs are challenged?

Acts 4: 8-10 ⁸ Then Peter, filled with the Holy Spirit, said to them, “Rulers and elders of our people, ⁹ are we being questioned today because we’ve done a good deed for a crippled man? Do you want to know how he was healed? ¹⁰ Let me clearly state to all of you and to all the people of Israel that he was healed by the powerful name of Jesus Christ the Nazarene, the man you crucified but whom God raised from the dead.

Jesus's name was so controversial back then. This very statement was BOLD. This was a pretty crazy thing to do. What's the worst thing that could happen? Well they could have been killed. They could have been imprisoned indefinitely. These men didn't care they new Jesus and that made them BOLD.

2,000 years later his name is still controversial. Everything about him is still controversial. For those of you who are Harry Potter fans we all know the He Who Must Not Be Named. Lets not make the mistake of turning Jesus into that! Think about it in our effort to trivialize everything and be wonderfully politically correct what is the first thing we remove? That's right the name of Jesus. He is at the heart of it all. His name is Bold because what he did for you and for me is Bold.

"American Atheists sued New York state arguing that they oppose the placement of the steel beam cross in the 911 museum because they believe it is the only religious article getting special accommodation there."

While allowing other groups to limit their membership according to shared values, university officials had refused to recognize BYX as a registered student group because the fraternity limits its membership to Christian men.

Earlier this month, the Arizona Civil Liberties Union demanded that the state remove the statue from Wesley Bolin Park or be faced with a lawsuit. The challenged monument is one of twenty similar monuments that celebrate Arizona’s history, culture, and diversity.

On Aug. 9, a three-judge panel of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 5th Circuit denied the asylum application of Xiaodong Li of Ningbo, China, effectively requiring his deportation to China, where he faces two years of imprisonment, for being a Christian.
American Atheists sued officials of the Utah Highway Patrol and the Utah Transportation Department in 2005. The group claimed that the roadside memorials are a state establishment of religion, even though the memorials are fully funded and maintained by a private organization, the Utah Highway Patrol Association.

Times are not so very different. We are not so very different today. Be BOLD, do not stand back and wait for others. God has called us, called you. If you open your ears, your heart, your eyes; you can see where he will lead you. The more you know him the BOLDER you will be. That BOLDNESS will change the world. This is your life. What are you waiting for?
Acts 4: 20 ²⁰ We cannot stop telling about everything we have seen and heard.”

Some things are worth dying for

Isn't it amazing that we live in a world where we have enough to eat. Clothes on our back, roof over our head, more than enough of all the necessary things. Do you ever just stop and praise God for toilets, or toilet paper, bras, socks, carpet, or maybe air conditioning? What do you take for granted?

We live in a world of plenty, but not so far down the road are people who live in a world of deprivation. It is unimaginable to some that anyone would die fighting, or even choose to die for something we take for granted. Yet every day people are dying for things we take for granted. It has been going on for a very long time. In fact some of those people have died for you.
Mathew 25: 40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

No gift is too small in the eyes of God. When you look to your heart what are you doing for the least of these? Mark 12: 43 Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. ⁴⁴ They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on. She gave all she had some coins that were worth only a few cents. Look at all we have, no gift is too small , except the gift you never give. With all that we have our massive riches we must not forget that deprivation is just a little ways away. Jesus gave his life that we might live, what will we give?

A breath and a prayer

Chris Tomlin Everlasting God

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord

I just got back from the longest vacation known to man! Seriously it was sooo long! I am so happy to be home and after 33 degree weather you won't hear me complain about 105 degrees, well at least not a lot! Of course coming home means unpacking and trying to prepare for the mad dash of back to school!This is exhausting for both the kids and me!

In addition, I spent three days in a row at doctor's offices just to be scheduled for both the EEG and the next Ortho appointment on August 9th! Please pray for me as I will only be allowed 3 hours of sleep, since he will only be allowed 3 hours of sleep! Don't they know that sleep deprivation for my kid means sleep deprivation for me! If it all goes smoothly then we can hurry our sleep deprived whiny bottoms across town to the ortho to check out how he is walking without the cast and boot! So of course after all of this planning and doctoring I was tired! I needed a little nap, as we all do at times.

No sooner had I laid down but my door bell was rang three times quickly! This can only mean one thing, UPS or Fed EX. Sure enough UPS guy hands me an envelope and says have a great day. I am thinking WT-Heck I will never get a nap now! So I trudged my way into the kitchen and opened the envelope to find.............................a publishing contract for my book.

That's right after 6 months of writing, letters to publishers and agents alike, as well as countless waiting, and a lot of rejection I had in my hand a contract. Of course I have looked it over and am thinking I will proceed with it, although that doesn't mean a whole lot because it could take a while in finishing, but my book will be published.

So don't hold your breath, and please pray that everything will go off without a hitch! It still amazes me that a year ago as I was praying and reading my bible I found myself led to write this book. It amazes me that even when I told God I like Jeremiah was not worthy, he pushed me on. God gave me the strength in my rejections, the patience in my waiting, and the joy in what will come!
Psalm 27: 14 Wait on the LORD; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the LORD!

Time Waits for no one

My baby will be 1 year old tomorrow! A year ago today I was going crazy waiting for her to get here! A year ago today I was wondering when she would get here and hoping it would be tomorrow. From the moment she was born till today a lot has changed. I am reminded of one of my favorite reflections on time:

To realize the value of one year:Ask a student who has failed a final exam.
To realize the value of one month: Ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.
To realize the value of one week: Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize the value of one hour: Ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realize the value of one minute: Ask the person who has missed the train, bus or plane.
To realize the value of one second: Ask a person who has survived an accident.
To realize the value of one millisecond: Ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics.
Time waits for no one.

You realize the Value of 4 days when your baby is in the NICU. I learned the value of an hour when it came to sleeping for the next few months. The value of a month is obvious in the milestones they reach, and now I can see the value of a year. Little ones are pretty amazing and Miss Hailey never fails to impress. We treasure her.

Recently a friend of ours from college told my husband you never really think that playing catch with your child, teaching them to ride a bike, seeing their first tooth, first step, first love, or first anything will really impact you that much until you face missing all those firsts. Life is scary and hard every day, but when you sit facing tomorrow realizing that all your dreams for your child might never come true life is impossibly hard. He said, " Treasure every moment, every milestone, and every day because when you sit facing the last that is all you have.

Hailey is quite the treasure. She can crawl and is starting to pull herself up. She only has 3 teeth and they are soo darn cute. Her favorite foods are cheerios, Nilla Wafers, and pretzels. She doesn't eat fruit unless it is pureed and mixed with baby cereal. She cries when you feed her ice cream, but then she wants more. She smiles at everyone and laughs at her siblings.