Psalm 119

¹⁰⁵Thy word is a lamp unto my
feet, and a light unto my path.






































In the mad rush of life we sometimes forget. It is hard to walk down a dark path. The rocks are jagged and the roots can easily trip you. When you fall there is no one to catch you, on the dark path. In times of trouble and times of need we either turn to his word or turn away, but even when we turn away God never leaves our side. He is there in the dark and he will help you to pull yourself back up. It is harder to feel his arms around you when you turn away, but they are ever present.

He will shelter you in the shadow of his wings even when you turn away. I have experienced so many blessings this week. It is hard to describe, but I know that God is ever working in my life. As I look toward Monday and our appointment for the MRI, I find myself reaching for my bible. It is so much harder to face a child's pain, especially your own child. In the infinite darkness you find yourself paralyzed by fear, but we cannot protect our children from everything, and at these times I realize: If you are not covering your children in prayer every day, you are leaving their lives to chance, Power of a Praying Parent.

It's raining shoes

I am sure you have heard the expression, "wait for the other shoe to drop." Combine that with when it rains it pours and you have my expression. It is raining shoes.

I usually take pictures of the kids looking totally cute, but the most recent one is this one of Olivia looking like a kid. I have accomplished a lot recently. I have sewn a dress and a pair of pants.


I am currently working on a second pair of pants. Jaeg and Jack are doing well. Jack is getting to be quite the little man. They grow up too fast, and speaking of raining, we have a lake in the front yard! Thanks to the neighbors who have some landscaping needs. Hey at least I don't have to plan a pond right.



This week has been long and with Spring Break coming I am very much looking forward to spending time with the kids. I am trying not to think too much about the MRI, but I will let everyone know how that goes. I also will take some pictures over the break so my next post is not so blah.

It's Only For a Moment

Today I am reminded of the lyrics of my favorite Mark Harris song:


It's only for a moment you are mine to hold
The plans that heaven has for you
Will all too soon unfold
So many different prayers I'll pray
For all that you might do


I cannot begin to describe my day. This week started like any other week. By mid-week though things were getting crazy. Eric's car had a 400.00 sensor break. Jaeg had an MRI scheduled for over spring break, which threw me for a loop. Then in passing conversation someone mentioned to me that a little boy in Olivia's preschool had died. I was so busy I guess I just forgot to ask what his name was, and it wasn't till Friday night that I realized I knew him.

Today was one of the hardest days of my life. I went to a funeral for a very special little boy. A child who touched everyone he met and changed them. He brought so much joy to the world in his 5 1/2 years of life. The church was packed with standing room only. We sat in back and I didn't even make it 5 minutes into the slide show before I started crying. As a parent I understood his mothers grief. I watched how strong his parents were. Olivia said to me, "Mommy don't get tears on me."

I cannot relate to you the amazing and overwhelming love that was in that church, or the grief. We as parents pray daily that we never have to face it. The thought of losing one of my children before me is devastating. My son's one seizure has totally turned our world upside down. I worry about little things and big things, but mostly I wonder if I can protect my children from the pain of this world. As my daughter questions death, I find myself wondering how to explain it.

It is impossible to describe, but it is like being in a tunnel. There are so many people who want to share your grief. They reach out, but are just outside your grasp. In passing we see them: strangers, friends, and family. They hug you and say words of comfort, but the truth is only time and God heal the wounds of grief.

I will never forget today. The beautiful spring sunshine was bittersweet. I will hold my children close tonight, and I will pray. For I know that in the not so distant future I will face the MRI, and I have no words to describe the waiting.

The Man

My Super Hero

I warned him that if he didn't start reading my blog the next post would be all about him!


I hear men jokes all the time. You know how he never puts the seat down, cooks, cleans, or changes diapers. We all laugh, but I think some of us can relate more than others. Me I can't relate. I found a diamond in the rough!

He cooks, he cleans, and he stays at home with the kids. He really deserves his own blog. I could tell you a hundred funny stories. Matching clothes make him break into a sweat. He never seems to be able to find the sock drawer even though I have shown him a million times. He also piles stuff. Some people file, but he piles.

Eventually he convinces me to go through the pile and then you got it, he adds more stuff.
He drives me crazy and I wouldn't have it any other way. We've all read the fairy tales, but some of us get to live them. Hey I didn't find Prince Charming, he found me. He doesn't have a white horse in fact the one time I took him riding he couldn't walk for days. He does however have this magical way of whisking in and saving the day.

He's the kind of man who isn't afraid to get down on the floor and play with his kids. He makes them laugh and their faces light up when he is in the room.
I love him enough to know that no matter what we will be okay. We have each other and that is what gets us through each day. As Brad Bayley would say " I don't know but I've been told happiness takes wealth and gold. Some might count me as a fool cause all I need is you."
Call me a fool!

Sewing

I keep looking at all these things that people make, and sell. So finally after months of saying I was going to do it. I did it. I pulled out my machine, lugged it upstairs, set it up, threaded the needle, then I took out some pants guessed on some things cut them out wrong and started sewing. I did every step the hard way, but in the end!

I made them with scrap fabric so now my daughter has gold pants. I am however going shopping and I will be a sewing maniac come summer as I finally found something easy to sew! Plus I want a pair for me! What mommy doesn't want ruffled pants. Probably not gold ones, although in the right crowd they'd be a hit! Sadly, I am not feeling the momentum tonight so alas, after a long day of sewing and children I cannot seem to get past my writer's block.










How cute are they! Huh my boys! Once they are both mobile I know I am in for it, but I will save that for another day!

The Graveyard

So this is totally ominous, I guess I must be in a mood. We drive by the graveyard on the way to and from my job. I do it every day without thinking about the people in those graves. My daughter on the other hand has the curiousity of a 4 year old and wants to know, "What are all those rocks for." I explained that they represent people who have died and gone to heaven. She wants to know how they got turned into rocks. So, I explain that they weren't turned into rocks, but buried beneath the ground. She then says why didn't they just put them in a tree!

Imagine our whole lifetime and when we are gone all that is left is a rock with our name; a poem, if we are lucky, and some dates on it. I do believe in heaven and I know that there is so much more than this life, but it is very sobering to think some day we will all be not much more than the marker above our grave and if we are lucky the memory in our grandchildren's minds.


Okay no more doom and gloom, Jaeg had a seizure last Friday. It was scary, but he is okay.

We had a great appointment all is well and his records are going to be looked at by a neuro and they will get back to us if the neuro wants to see him!

So basically we are all okay unless the neuro has a concern. Our doctor felt the neuro would not be concerned!