Grief

As defined by dictionary.com: keen mental suffering or distress over affliction or loss; sharp sorrow; painful regret

They say that grief has 7 stages:
1. shock and denial
2. pain and guilt
3. anger and bargaining
4. depression, reflection, and loneliness
5. the upward turn
6. reconstruction and working through
7. acceptance and hope

We grieve in our lives for little and big things. Sometimes we are grieving for the person we thought we would be. The life we expected to live. The dreams never realized can also fill us with grief. Then there are those of us who struggle with grief that can be crippling. The loss of a child to death, having a child with a disability, the death of a spouse, divorce, or the death of a family member or loved one.

When I ask people about grief they often express a feeling of being all alone. "No one really understands how I feel. How could you understand what I am going through when your life is so perfect?"

I think that in their grief they push people away. It is so hard to have everyone see you exposed and hurting. You don't want people to share in your pain because no one should see how weak and hurting you are. Your life is turned upside down and other people in their perfect world cannot understand.

So lets look back at grief misconceptions. You are not alone, you only choose to be alone. You need someone today, tomorrow, and everyday until you work through this. God will be with you, he will speak to you, but you have to be listening and the voices of grief shout. You need to find time to quiet the shouting because we all know God speaks in a whisper. Sometimes it is hard to hear God speak because in our grief we are afraid of what he will say. There is no answer to why and asking the question over and over and over and over will only bring you to a place of sorrow.

So I tell you stop asking why, it's not important. We are all selfish creatures who think that only our pain matters. Those around you are hurting too. They need to see that you are there for them. Share your grief with someone who understands. Let them listen and find hope in their message. Do not be afraid God is with you. You won't stop hurting right away, but with God and support you can get through anything.
He will never give you more than you can handle. When God closes a door he opens a window, and my advice to you is to jump through the window with wild abandon.

Genesis 26:24
That night the LORD appeared to him and said, “I am the God of your father Abraham. Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bless you and will increase the number of your descendants for the sake of my servant Abraham.”