Whose in Control

Well it sure isn't me. Yes I sit in the drivers seat of this contraption. Sometimes it seems to be a bus careening out of control and others a compact Japanese car, but though my hands are on the wheel and my feet slam on the gas and breaks I am not in control. Not in control you scream as I soar through the traffic lights, over speed bumps, and park at drastic angles in parking lots. Get out of the way old women say as they dive under park benches to avoid being hit. A picture of utter tranquility I grip the wheel and try to control it. Try as I might, I cannot turn off this path. This path I did not choose. This path that is not always easy, a path I sometimes do not like, but my path.

Like so many things in life we have a purpose, a mission, and a journey. The path is not easy, and we are not in control. You can hit the breaks, but you won't stop going. Other times you slam on the gas, and careen to a stop. At those times you often find yourself propelled to your knees, and on our knees with our hearts and minds open to God we remember who is in control.

Life brings us joy and sorrow. Each day is a battle and a festival. Remember when you wake in the morning, you will not control the day; despite your best efforts. In the end you can ask for guidance and find your way down the path, or be propelled down the path by a force beyond your control. It takes a lot of energy to get whiplash day in and day out fighting to be in control. Did you ever think that if you truly surrender life's road might be a little less bumpy.

Worship in the Waiting

FFH had it right when they said: " I will worship in the waiting." We have been waiting for so long. Some times we didn't even know what we were waiting for anymore. A new job, a new life, a new place to live, a new church, a new beginning, an ending, and change.

But was that what we were really waiting for, could we have been waiting for something more? Matthew: 24 36-44

No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son,^abut only the Father. ³⁷As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. ³⁸For in the days before the flood, people were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, up to the day Noah entered the ark; ³⁹and they knew nothing about what would happen until the flood came and took them all away. That is how it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. ⁴⁰Two men will be in the field; one will be taken and the other left. ⁴¹Two women will be grinding with a hand mill; one will be taken and the other left.

⁴²"Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come. ⁴³But understand this: If the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into. ⁴⁴So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him.

Then it makes sense that what I am waiting for is not the same thing that Peter, Paul, and so many others awaited. They believed it would happen in their lifetimes and they lived their lives as a testament to that. Do I live my life as someone who believes Jesus is coming back not someday, but maybe tomorrow? How about you? Do you worship in the waiting?

It is always worth the wait

Waiting is so hard. Not knowing wanting to be in control, but not being in control, and just waiting. In the end though the waiting is always worth it.

So in essence this is all about waiting.........................................

The Grass is Always Greener

You know what I am talking about. You look at your life. Your hopes, your dreams, your successes, and your failures all laid out on the table. Then you find yourself looking over the fence. Maybe it is your sister, your brother, your best friend, or the neighbors whose fence you glance over. The grass is lush and green. You think to yourself why? Why do they have the house of my dreams, the job I always wanted, husband, children, car, etc? Isn't it exhausting to want what you don't have? All that time spent on wishful thinking!

Look to God's word and you will find that he too agrees that this is not a healthy habit:
Exodus 20:17 "You shall not covet your neighbor's house. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor."
God wants you to know that the grass may not be greener on the other side. Life may not be better just over the fence, and all that energy that you put into wanting something that you don't have is wasted. You waste your talents and your time wanting the blessings that God has provided to someone else.


Let me paint a picture for you. Just over the fence lives a family with 3 kids. They have a beautiful house, a dog, and new cars. They both have jobs and in this economy that is saying something. They have smiles on their faces and wave to you over the fence. They wear nice clothing and their children are well behaved. The husband is very attuned to his wife. He opens doors, carries groceries, and can be seen smiling lovingly at her. He plays ball in the backyard with his kids, and she bakes pies and cookies weekly. Sounds like the perfect family. I bet you could easily find a piece of their life that you want in your own life.

However, when they go inside their house and the doors are closed their life is very different. What you don't know about this family all the little things beneath the surface, those are the things that shape who they are. Every person on this earth experiences both blessings and hardships. God created this life so that we could truly appreciate the amazing joy of what awaits us in heaven.

God gives us an abundance of blessings. Each moment, day, and hour is blessing from above. He designs each blessing with you in mind because he knows you as no one else knows you. God knows every deep secret of your heart, and he loves you despite all your faults. Psalm 139 says:

¹³ For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

¹⁶ your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

His plan is so much greater than you can imagine. He formed you in his image. He created you to do great things. You were created for a task that no other person can fulfill. Whether the task is mighty or small it is a task that God chose for you. He hand selected each and every blessing you receive and he will be with you through everything you experience in your life, so don't look over the fence. Instead, look onward, move forward, and most of all trust God to lead you.

There is a saying one man's garbage is another man's treasure. Have you ever thought one man's blessing is another man's hardship. God knows what we can do, who we are, and how much we can handle. He will never give you a task to great, nor too little. And most of all, he will never abandon or desert you in your time of need. Even as Jesus carried the cross God was with him, and when it became to heavy God provided someone to help.
Matthew 27:32
³²As they were going out, they met a man from Cyrene, named Simon, and they forced him to carry the cross.

There will be so many Simon's in your life. God will send them when you least expect it, and they will help you along the way. Just like Simon you too may find yourself lightening the burden on someone's shoulders. Take blessings and hardships in stride, trust in the Lord and he will lead you home.

"Walk On Water"

Simon Peter won't you put those nets down
follow me I'll lead you out of this town
to a place where no boat has ever been
I will make you a fisher of men

Jesus walked out on the water
said take courage it is me
Peter trusted and he wanted to go farther
so he stepped out on the sea

If I keep my eyes on Jesus I can walk on water
If I keep my eyes on Jesus I can walk on water

Just do NOTHING

Sometimes things jump out and scream unfair. Numbers that make you take a breath. Sad stories that bring tears to your eyes, or this: quarterly averages taken of household data for the months of August and September show, -571 jobs in the civilian labor force. The US average for unemployment hovers at 9.8% with little change on the horizon. Oh yeah and it looks like that number may be on an upward trend. That's right no end in sight.

Or how about this one: world hunger rates in 2007 showed 36.2 Americans lived in what are considered food insecure households. In 2007, 3.4 percent of all U.S. households (3.9 million households) accessed emergency food from a food pantry one or more times. One in every eight U.S. residents is living in poverty, according to the last official count conducted by the Census Bureau. But this data reflects conditions through 2007, well before the current recession.The United States has one of the highest poverty rates among industrialized countries, while U.S. government spending on anti-poverty programming as a percentage of Gross Domestic Product is one of the lowest among industrialized countries. Where is all the money going?

You can't ignore those numbers. World hunger, starts right in your backyard. I wonder does your next door neighbor have enough food to eat. Did you know that half of the children in many U.S. schools with two working parents and no federal assistance qualify for free and reduced lunches? Did you know that it isn't getting better? The working poor is a growing part of our society, and while the rich get richer the middle class all but disappears. Did you know that since Obama has taken office things haven't gotten better? Already more than 15 months old, the current recession will soon match the average length -- and average job loss -- of the last three postwar downturns. What goes down will come up -- unless destructive policies interfere with the sources of potential recovery.

So what's new you ask? What is new is the unveiling of Mr. Obama's agenda and his approach to governance. Every new President has a finite stock of capital -- financial and political -- to deploy, and amid recession Mr. Obama has more than most. But one negative revelation has been the way he has chosen to spend his scarce resources on income transfers rather than growth promotion. Most of his "stimulus" spending was devoted to social programs, rather than public works, and nearly all of the tax cuts were devoted to income maintenance rather than to improving incentives to work or invest.

But you don't want to hear about Politics do you? You, like me just want to know why? Why aren't there jobs? Why are home prices still falling? What is my Nobel Peace Prize Winning President doing? Really ask yourself, what has he done for you? Is the health care plan designed for you? How about all those bailouts? I didn't get one penny, not a week at the spa, no big CEO bonus for me.


Hey, if you voted for change how does this sound. Pay higher taxes, but get less. Staggering unemployment rates cripple the economy. Bad Global policies threaten U.S. trade in the global market, and us the little guy, we just checked a box on a ballot. A vote for change................

Never Happy

You meet them every day. Some on the street others in a store. They are every where and nowhere. I call them the never gonna get it right pessimists. You see they are the people who no matter what you do for them they will be unhappy. No matter how hard you try you won't ever get it right. There food is too dry, their clothes are too tight, their hair is too something, and their life just ain't right.

No one can fix it for them. They use so much energy every day building it up. The horrible terrible things that consume their lives are always there and they want to tell you about it. Your troubles are never as great as theirs and they can top any horror story you have. If I have painted the picture of someone you know then you also know the trials of dealing with someone like this.

How do you go about being a positive and happy person when every time you turn around the sky is falling? How is it that it is raining in their cubicle and the sun is shining in yours? What makes the difference? I will be the first to tell you that the world is not all sunshine and roses, but it is what you make it. You must get up every day and determine how your day goes. You are not in control of your life. If you let God take the wheel and pray through each all consuming doomsday thought you will find the weight on your shoulders just a bit lighter. You might even see a ray of sunlight peeking from behind yonder cloud.
A butterfly is an amazing example. Did you know that some butterflies only live for 1 hour. They spend all that time in a cocoon, wake up, and have one hour to lay their eggs. Imagine knowing you had one hour to live and waking up to a blistery cold rainstorm. What would your outlook be? I believe that it is all in how you look at things. Those of us who choose to make our own happiness can find it wherever we go.
My recipe for happiness is:
3/4 cup of love
1 cup of trust
1/2 cup of patience
10 cups of prayer
1 teaspoon of stubborn perserverence

and the unending grace that God gives freely to those who trust in him. What's your recipe, and how's your outlook? If you are starting to sound like Chicken Little you may need to sit back and ask God to help you change.

Bittersweet

So many things in life are bittersweet. You look forward to them and yet when they arrive you find yourself wondering where did all the time go? Am I truly ready? Do I really like this? So often we put so much effort into planning for and waiting for something that is in the future that we forget that the present here and now is such an amazing gift. For example my daughter has been looking forward to preschool since the end of last year when she graduated from her 3 year old class and we moved from MT to OK. Sure I too look forward to it, because this year it is free, but as I am looking forward I also realized that it is one step closer to her being all grown up.

Bittersweet, today the first day. One step closer to 5. One step closer to kinder, to high school, and college. I still remember being in grade school like it was yesterday. I remember recess and snack. I remember the alphabet and Christmas pageants. I remember each passing year and oh how I looked forward to high school. Then it was on to college, and now here I am. Too soon the leaves will turn and the summer will shed its sunshine. The winter winds will blow and another year shall pass. With each passing moment time will leave her marks. The wrinkles and gray hairs are but the passing of another year, and soon she will be all grown up.

One day I will get up to a child who no longer needs me to help her fix her hair. Potty training will be a distant memory and my sons will not want to talk about it. There favorite snacks will no longer be caramel rice cakes and honey bees. Soon they will not beg to sit on my lap and cuddle. You see time is a friend and a foe. As it passes it leaves us with great memories, but it changes us. It shapes us, molds us, and forever leaves us different.

So in my wistful wonderings I realize that time holds little sway over what is important. In thousands of years the truth will be as it was today. God's word will withstand time and his message will not be changed. Time will mold and shape the world through his will, but in time he will achieve his great plan for our world. So I will try not to plan too much. I will try not to worry and I will choose to sit back and praise him for the time that is at hand.

Changes

Why are changes so scary. I could hardly sleep last night. I found myself tossing and turning. The kids seemed to sleep lightly, and before we knew it morning was upon us. I arose to a dark day with three kiddos to dress, breakfast to prep, and a rush to get out the door. In the mad rush we made it just in time. Grandma Sue was waiting, her house a welcome retreat of toys and kids. My kiddos immediately were happy. It felt great, safe, and wonderful. Still as the day rushed by I wondered about them. I worried even though I knew they were fine, and yes when I got there I crushed them in tight little hugs.

Its not so much about who is watching my kids as the fact that it isn't Eric or I. Sure we love having a clean house, instead of the crazy nuclear warfare that looks like a Toys-R-Us stomach flu in our living room. Sure it is great when they don't act stir crazy from not having left our house for days except to play in the yard. Sure we love that they get to play with other kids, but in the end we also have to consider the big picture.

Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

If I am charged with this my duty as a parent, my job as a christian mom, and it is my calling then I have to wonder about school. Every hour they depart from my guidance especially at the age of 4 or 5 years old is an hour I am not training them, guiding them, and nurturing the morals I uphold. Every hour counts, every minute, and every day. So that is why I am so appalled by the media's coverage of our fearless leader's ideas for education. 9.5 hours not counting bus time for my kiddos away from me. That is 9.5 hours of someone else guiding them. Look at our schools we have some amazing teachers, but the government has pushed propaganda to be taught in states like MA and CA. The messages that come out of some classrooms are not the messages I want my 4 year old to hear. Take note more hours in school will not make my child better educated, because education is about a child as a whole. I don't just want my child to read, write, and do arithmetic. I want my children to be productive citizens. I want them to stand up for their moral values. Values that are not allowed in our schools. So if the schools say my kids have to be there, yet they cannot bring their beliefs to school. It seems like they are taking away my right as a parent to spend time raising my kids. Especially if you take away some of the summer, and Saturdays.

Psalm 127:3
Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.

Let us not forget our job as parents!
And I hear children's voices singing Of a God who heals and rescues and restores And I'm reminded That every child in Africa is Yours And its all Yours, God, Yours, God Everything is Yours From the stars in the sky To the depths of the ocean floor And its all Yours, God, Yours, God Everything is Yours You're the Maker and Keeper, Father and Ruler of everything It's all Yours

All in Good Time

It is so amazing the day I feared might never come has arrived. Eric has a job, a day job. It has been a very bumpy ride along the way. It all started over 3 years ago when we decided to move back to Montana. We gave up fabulous jobs, left our perfect little starter home, and moved back to Montana. It seemed like a great plan. Sure it was more expensive to live in Montana, sure houses cost three to five times as much, and there were very few good paying jobs. However, we were close to family. It would have been ideal if we could have afforded any of the sacrifices. Eventually we were forced to choose, we could stay in Montana without jobs or we could move to somewhere where there were jobs.

Of course at this point you are saying to yourself, jeez bonehead, who moves without a job. Not us, we had jobs, but in Montana they just didn't last. Who ever heard of a special education teacher being cut. You got it, only in Montana. Of course packing up and moving to Oklahoma seemed crazy and outrageous idea. We had never been to Oklahoma, we didn't know anyone there, but we were moving. Why you might ask? The cheapest cost of living in 50 states. Great school districts, a demand for teachers, job security, and 3 options for my masters degree. It all seemed to make sense.

So we packed up our tiny U-haul. Then we drove 22 hours and found ourselves in the south. The next couple of months ensued with me working at my new job which was amazing and Eric searching for a job! It seemed like nothing would ever work out. He kept applying and 1 application turned into 100, then 200, and still only 2 interviews. It seemed that we were stuck in the same vicious cycle, only now we lived thousands of miles away from our families. Finally, though it all fell into place with 4 interviews, and 3 job offers. So on Monday my children will head to daycare for the first time in 2 and a half years, my husband will head to work, and I will head to work. We won't be working opposite shifts, and pinching pennies to survive. We will finally share the same weekends too!

It amazes me sometimes that so many people go through life day in and day out without realizing the amazing blessings they have. It is only when you face adversity and have to climb a mountain that appears insurmountable that you discover your own mettle. I know that we could never have climbed this mountain without God by our side. For when I stumbled he caught me. When the load was to great to carry he lifted it off my shoulders, and when I found my faith tested he showed me the way. God achieves everything in his time. The hardest part is waiting, and trusting his will. If you can let go of everything you think that you know then you can finally see how blind you really are. Just ask Paul.

If you gotta start somewhere why not here
If you gotta start sometime why not now
If we gotta start somewhere I say here
If we gotta start sometime I say now
Through the fog there is hope in the distance
From cathedrals to third world missions
Love will fall to the earth like a crashing wave

A whole new world

I don't know if that is an accurate way to describe Oklahoma, but it is very different. In the many months before we moved I hoped for a job where I would feel happy, make a difference, and be appreciated. My new job is all of this and so much more. In talking to many of my friends in Montana I hear that so little has changed. I am hoping that this year finds everyone happy and settled, but I realize that the reality is it could be utter chaos.

Do I miss my family in Montana, every day. Especially when my kids talk about Nana and Papa. Do I miss the weather, no way. I have to say the climate agrees with us. The kids love to play outside in the sprinkler, I'll get back to you around Tornado season and let you know if the weather is still agreeable. We are looking forward to the state fair, which we hear is a sight to behold.

In the light of the future I like being in the bible belt and close to Texas because our government appears to be taking our rights and freedoms away. As I watch the news and see town hall meetings aired. I also notice that the media is leaving out so much. I am finding myself shocked when I hear what is truly in the healthcare plan. I look at history and the parallels are becoming more and more obvious. This country was founded by Christians and we are falling apart at the hands of liberals.

One Year

One amazing year, unforgettable and insurmountable. This year has changed us, shaped us, and we will be forever different. The reality of it is that a year is such a short time. In 12 months so much can happen, but in the enormity of the big picture one year is like an instant. A moment in time. If you could freeze time right where you are and look back at the year behind you would you go back?

With every step forward I think we experience something important. Something new and different. I see it most when I look at Jack from the moment he was born he changed our lives as only a child can do. Jack shaped and formed so many routines that have become everyday. I can't imagine going back and I never would!
Now one year later Jack has changed so much, as has the world around him. Soon we will step forward into a new and great adventure and as we move across the country we will find ourselves facing a year of changes. A year of hopes and dreams, but most of all a year filled with joy and heartache. For each moment of pure joy there are bumps and bruises along the way. We find ourselves not only looking forward, but also looking back. Sometimes the road will rise up to meet us and other times it drops right out from under us.

If this year has taught me anything it is that no matter how well you plan, life happens. Life in its purest and simplest form catches us all off guard. Some times the best remedy is to stop planning and start living. To stop worrying and concentrate on loving. Whether you're ready for it or not life happens. It sneaks up on us and it passes by in the blink of an eye. One moment you are holding them in your arms and then they are gone. You can catch them when they fall and you can hold them when they cry, but someday all babies grow up. With each passing day the year draws to a close and you find yourself looking toward a birthday. A celebration of one year of life. A celebration of every bump, bruise, and scratch. A celebration of mountains climbed and rivers crossed, but most of all a celebration of who they are and who they will become. Each year changes all of us. It makes us stronger and it makes us older. I thank God for this year and the beautiful child who will turn one this week!

Bravery

In the face of the unknown it takes bravery to move forward. I know that I for one am a chicken. I hate admitting it, but every little change scares me. I adapt well once I allow myself to be swept up in the change. One moment you are standing on the shore looking out into the unknown and the next a wave rocks your world. You find yourself tumbling forward and somersaulting back to the shore. It is frightening and exhilarating, and when you find your way back to your feet you feel stronger. You knew that the wave was coming and yet you stood there waiting. I too am standing on the shore. Watching the waves grow bigger and stronger. I know that I will be on my feet again before I know it, but in the moment I am mesmerized by the fear of what is to come.


It would be so much simpler if it were just me or just Eric and I. Its funny how the miracle of your children puts everything else into perspective. Moving with three children is like moving a mountain! What can we leave, what will we bring, and what will they not miss if it is left behind? All of these questions fill my mind as I wonder how to proceed. If life is a journey what vehicle do you use as you travel? Are you on foot? Do you drive a tank? Are you sailing along? Me I think I feel I am sinking. "Oh sure, you say. Tomorrow will be better, you tell me. Chin up you can do it," you coach. Yet, for all your platitudes I still find myself staring at the waves.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. One very well known quote that we have all heard. Now you just have to figure out what the rest of your life means. For me it is a big step in a scary direction. I know it will change us and I know we will be better for it, but somewhere deep in my heart the facade of bravery falls away and I am a small child wondering what to do. You see, my greatest fear is not the change, but if the change will be the right one. Will this make all the difference in the world or will we be afloat journeying through life forever without our paddles or a sail.

Now after you have pondered all of the levity that I have to offer, feel free to offer me platitudes and reassurance because we both know that when God closes a door he opens a window!


Psalm 40:1
I waited patiently for the LORD;
he turned to me and heard my cry.

Fairy Tales

It's a set up you know. Cinderella, the glass slipper, Prince Charming, and most of all the happy ending! What do we expect. We grow up hearing these tales of happily ever after and then reality just isn't quite that. Now don't get me wrong my Prince Charming is pretty Charming! In fact I wouldn't trade him for anything, its the happily ever after part that takes work. Sure there is a ton of happy, but it is give and take. There is also compromise. So here we are self respecting
women who are teaching our little girls that it exists. You don't ever here at the end of the story, and Cinderella and Prince Charming lived happily ever after with a few compromises and a couple of bumps along the road.

So my question for you is what kind of values are most important. Do you teach them that magic really exists. That there is someone out there who will melt your heart and make you forget that everyone else exists. Do you teach them that although life is scary and frustrating the magic is always there all you have to do is believe.

Or, are you a cynic who teaches your children that while glass slippers are nice to look at imagine having the shards surgically removed from your foot if one of them broke. Reality is harsh and cruel and while there may be some exceptions Cinderella stories don't exist.

I myself believe in the magic. I don't need a glass slipper or a white horse to know that tomorrow will be okay. Sure there are bumps in the road and we face the unknown, but that is life. Sometimes part of making the happily ever after real is having the courage and audacity to face life head on and find no fear in tomorrow. If you can dance like no one is watching, love like there is no tomorrow, and believe in magic when you can't see it then you will be okay. Sure the cynic in me says Cinderella is a fool, but the little girl in me is clapping!!!

"There's only grace
There's only love
There's only mercy
And believe me it's enough
Your sins are gone
Without a trace
There's nothing left now
There's only grace"

Happily ever after is a little bit of work, a lot of love, and the faith to make it happen!

Are you invisible?

Sometimes I feel like screaming. I wonder if I just stood in the middle of a crowded room and screamed would people see me? We all know the answer, of course not. People would see a crazy screaming woman.

Seriously though, what do you have to do to get noticed? To be something more than invisible. Did you know that I live in a community of just under 60,000 people, a fairly small town. Of those people 30,000 are female, of those females 9,000 are approximately my age. Statistics are a funny thing. We can use them to outline data, to explain and reason, but in the end being a number is very lonely. I recently applied for a job, not even a high paying job. Surprisingly enough I was one of 108. Of course that data I choose not to analyze, because statistically speaking the odds are...............

How do you stand out in the crowd, are you invisible? What is it like to be invisible? Are we all so caught up in ourselves that we don't see each other? I look at some of the people I work with. Some I like and some I don't and I wonder: What are they thinking or feeling? Are they okay, or even better off? Sure they have a job, but will it make them happy? I know mine didn't, and the absence of a job while stressful is better than not truly loving what I do.

I would love some statistics. How many of those 9,000 are happy? How many feel invisible? How many are even employed?

In the end I realize life is what you make it. You choose, you can be as invisible as you want to be. Granted there are better ways to gain attention then standing in a crowded room and screaming. I personally recommend reaching out. Because if you feel invisible, then I bet you know someone who feels the same way. All you have to do is reach out and you will make a difference. Then for a magical moment in time you will not be invisible, but will become something more. We are all capable of great things, but sometimes its the little things that we do that make us heroes. I dare you to reach out, and if you really want a challenge reach out to someone you don't like.
Matthew 5:44
But I tell you love thy enemies and pray for those who persecute you.

A Haze

I really don't have anything to say. I know it is a strange combination of writers block and the fact that I got sucked in by that Twilight series.

I have been so busy this year that life has sped by in a haze and now as the year is winding down I wonder what I missed. I also look at my children and realize how much they have grown this year. Olivia used to be terrified of horses, but she climbed right on Rusty and rode him around.

Jack is eating solid foods galore and loves goldfish! He also has two teeth. The first tooth arriving over spring break and the second popped through on Friday.

Jaeg is ever my clutz. He tends to run headlong into walls, tables and chairs. He has grown so much and now he tells me exactly what hurts using full sentences.

Time flies even when you are looking, don't blink or turn away. I know that just yesterday I was holding each of them for the first time!

A Shield

I find myself quite often picturing God with a shield. He is holding it up and battling against our enemies. He rushes into battle fighting for us. Fighting to protect us. The shield is why the drunk driver just clips your car, or the driver in front of you gets the speeding ticket, or the person in the cubicle next to you gets laid off.

In these troubled economic times I wonder if God has enough shields for all of us! I know that if we trust in him, like Moses before us things will be okay. Imagine the fear of facing an army behind you and the Red Sea in front of you. Imagine the impossibility of the water's parting and the path before you opening. If you are like me you cannot even begin to imagine.

I realized just recently that so many people in the world have stopped praying. God didn't answer your prayer for a new job, or not to go bankrupt. He didn't answer your prayer today or yesterday so what it the point?

God hasn't answered all of my prayers this year, but he answered so many unprayed prayers. He was there for the seizure we never expected. The MRI that resulted in good news. He was there every time my children fell down. He is there every time I get in the car. I am alive and well. My children are all healthy and well. We are not hungry or cold. God has answered so many prayers. Remember the next time that you are praying that God might answer a prayer that you haven't yet prayed.

I hope that you feel shielded this week, and hopefully next week I will have recovered from my writer's block!

Breathless

There are moments in life that take our breath away. The birth of a child, the death of a loved one, a wedding, and the list goes on and on. So many of them are to be expected, but what about the moments you don't expect. The moments that take your breath away and steal your heart. They are so unexpected that when they happen your heart melts.


My daughter loves it when I take naps with her. She cuddles up and falls asleep with me next to her. Often I wake up to find her little arm draped across my face. When she is asleep she is so quiet and angelic compared to the busy little singer who runs from room to room making up a world of songs that fill the air.

"There was never a child so lovely, but his mother was glad to get him to sleep."

Today she begged me, mommy come take a nap with me. There are so many things that need to be done. Our dishwasher is broken. I am worrying about work and wondering about the week ahead. The house is messy, the flowerbeds need to be planted, the laundry is piling up, and the only thing my daughter wants is to cuddle up with mommy.

Of course I am too busy, so like any mother I tell her go lay down and I will join you later. Soon I am in the midst of cleaning and sorting. Before too long I reach my bedroom and begin making up the bed, but my pillow is missing. It is not on the bed or even in the room. A quick search reveals that it is neatly laid on my daughter's bed, next to her own pillow. She has nestled up next to it. Waiting and trusting that mommy will come. She trusts because what in the world could be more important than cuddling with her?

Ask yourself a simple question. Really think about it. Do you remember the day that your babies were born? Was it so long ago? Ask your own mother or grandmother that question and you will be surprised to hear it seems like yesterday. A yesterday that can be filled with warm and cuddly memories, or regrets that there was never enough time. Tomorrow is soon enough to do the laundry, tomorrow the dishes will still be waiting, tomorrow the garden will still be there, but in not too many tomorrows the little girl will be all grown up. So for today, the washing will wait, and for today I will treasure the child who tomorrow will be all grown up.


So if you ask me what my plans for this afternoon are, don't be surprised to hear, that I will be napping. The pillow has been prepared for me, and there is someone very special waiting for me. The covers will not reach my toes, and I may have to kick out a stuffed bear or two to make room, but there is no place I'd rather be!

Count your blessings one by one, and forget your sorrows. Remember the bible says to have faith like a child.

My daughter knows that I have so much to do, but because I promised I would snuggle, she has the faith that I will. God is so busy, but somehow he keeps all his promises. He always comes. He will always find the time, but will he find that you are prepared for him?

Waiting

Waiting is a very tricky business. It is hard not to get your hopes up. It is hard not to despair. Somewhere in between we strive to hover neither hoping too much or despairing to heavily. Our hearts are weighted down with the enormity of our task and the hours, minutes, and moments seem to last an eternity.

When you are waiting it is always important to look at others who have spent many years waiting. Look at the Jewish people. First they were waiting to be freed from slavery, and Moses came to them, but then they wandered in the desert waiting to find the holy land. Imagine all that waiting and expecting and then wandering in the desert. Some of them died before they ever got out of the desert.

Waiting can be draining, waiting can be tiring, and waiting can trouble your heart.


My daughter waited with anxious anticipation for Easter and she was more than overjoyed when she came down the stairs that morning. Because waiting is worth it. The great joy that we find is worth all the wait!

Easter

Luke 24:46-47
(46) and (Jesus) said to them, “Thus it is written, that the Christ should suffer and on the third day rise from the dead, (47) and that repentance and forgiveness of sins should be proclaimed in his name to all nations, beginning from Jerusalem.


Easter is a promise, a new beginning, and the start of a new year.

An egg is a symbol of new life. At Easter it is used as a symbol of Jesus' resurrection. The outside of an egg looks like a stone and so it is a way to represent the outside view of Jesus' sealed tomb. Inside the egg is the new life of a baby chick ready to break out and so this is a way to represent Jesus' new life as he rose from death.






A new life, what an amazing promise. When you look at all the mistakes and sins you made to have them wiped clean and start again. Today we decorated eggs, and tomorrow we will celebrate the glory of Easter.


As I look ahead to this upcoming week, I am uplifted by the promises of Easter. As I explain the mysteries of Easter to my children, I try to remind them that Easter is not about the Easter bunny, eggs, or other trivialities. These are only symbols of the true joyous resurrection.


I wanted to share a resurrection cookie recipe with all of you!

You will need:

1 cup whole pecans
1 teaspoon vinegar
3 egg whites
a pinch salt
1 cup sugar
a zipper baggy
1 wooden spoon
scotch tape
Bible

Instructions:

These are to be made the evening before Easter. Preheat oven to 300F.
*** (this is very important --- don't wait until you are half done with the recipe).
Place pecans in zipper baggy and let children beat them with the wooden spoon
to break into small pieces. Explain that after Jesus was arrested. He

was beaten by the Roman soldiers. Read: John 19:1-3


Let each child smell the vinegar. Put 1 teaspoon vinegar into mixing bowl.
Explain that when Jesus was thirsty on the cross He was given vinegar
to drink. Read: John 19:28-30

Add egg whites to vinegar. Eggs represent life. Explain that Jesus gave His life
to give us life. Read: John 10:10&11

Sprinkle a little salt into each child's hand. Let them taste it and brush the rest
into the bowl. Explain that this represents the salty tears shed by Jesus' followers,
and the bitterness of our own sin. Read: Luke 23:27

So far the ingredients are not very appetizing. Add 1 cup sugar. Explain that the
sweetest part of the story is that Jesus died because He loves us. He wants us to
know and belong to Him. Read: Psalm 34:8 and John 3:16

Beat with a mixer on high speed for 12 to 15 minutes until stiff peaks are formed.
Explain that the color white represents the purity in God's eyes of those whose sins
have been cleansed by Jesus. Read: Isaiah 1:18 and John 3:1-3

Fold in broken nuts. Drop by teaspoon onto waxed paper covered cookie sheet.
Explain that each mound represents the rocky tomb where Jesus' body was laid.
Read: Matthew 27:57-60

Put the cookie sheet in the oven, close the door and turn the oven OFF.

Give each child a piece of tape and seal the oven door.

Explain that Jesus' tomb was sealed. Read: Matthew 27:65-66




GO TO BED!

Explain that they may feel sad to leave the cookies in the oven overnight.
Jesus' followers were in despair when the tomb was sealed. Read: John 16:20&22

On Resurrection Sunday (Easter) morning, open the oven and give everyone a cookie. Notice the cracked
surface and take a bite. The cookies are hollow! On the first Easter Jesus' followers were amazed
to find the tomb open and empty. Read: Matthew 28:1-9

In the end only kindness matters

In the last year I have been so busy and tired. My mother reminded me that last year we had a big family Easter. This year I don't have the energy. There are so many changes in my life since last year. So many blessings and so many hardships. Jack was born, Jaeg had an MRI and is healthy, we have a beautiful new house, and we are living close to our families.


I could mention all our hardships, but everyone has hardships. Eric and I have dealt with so many this year. Jaeg's seizure and the tests that followed as well as my change in job have truly been the hardest. As I look back on a full year I realize that despite each challenge and hardship we have come so very far.




In the end only kindess matters. The kindness of our friends. The shoulder to lean on when you need to cry. The kindness of a stranger. The nurse in the emergency room who soothes your frayed nerves and tries to make everyone feel okay. The kindness of your family. The husband who does just a little more at home or plans a special surprise for you. The kindness of your children. The hugs, kisses, and I love you mom that brightens up your day.

You see in the end we all have hardships and with the economy the way it is this may be just the beginning. We all suffer. We all fall down, but in the end what matters is how we pick ourselves up again. Next time you are feeling truly lost show

someone kindness. Who knows it might make all the difference in the world.